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/u/



https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/10uq2ap/i_want_to_stop_taking_vyvanse/

I’m a 35-year-old woman who was diagnosed with ADHD about 18 months ago. I was initially prescribed Concerta, I can’t remember the dose. It worked for a few months but gradually I stopped being able to eat or sleep, and my anxiety levels grew until they became full on paranoia and I was convinced people in my life were plotting against me. I was hesitant to try another medication after that, but my doctor convinced me to try Vyvanse. I was on 30mg and at first I felt fine and was productive, but after a few weeks I was crashing really hard in the afternoons so the dose was increased to 40mg. All it did was make me feel “high” when it kicked in, but I would crash even earlier and harder. So I’ve been back on 30mg for about 6 months now, and I find that I still crash about 3-4 hours after taking my meds, and it is brutal. I completely lose the ability to function or think straight, and I get extremely irritable, anxious and depressed. I can’t drink any caffeine to get a boost in the afternoon because it reacts so badly with the meds I feel like I’m going to die. Anyway, long story short, I feel like it’s probably not worth the few hours of focus I get in the morning just to feel like useless garbage the rest of the day. But every time I try to talk to my doctor about it, she scares me into believing that I won’t be able to accomplish anything without meds. Has anyone else had an experience like this? Did you just keep trying different medications until something clicked? I really want to believe that I can be a functioning human being without meds because I just hate the side effects.

posted by /u/ghost-moth-524 in /r/ADHD on February 5, 2023 17:48:46

https://i.redd.it/cdt4ogjwdega1.jpg

posted by /u/Ghost-0- in /r/PokemonTCG on February 5, 2023 06:35:13

https://v.redd.it/pl3qkse3r7ga1

posted by /u/DARK-GHOST-47 in /r/khoobe on February 4, 2023 13:16:48

https://www.reddit.com/r/loveafterporn/comments/10ry75a/do_you_ever_get_over_it/

**TW: rape mention I’ve been with my partner for about eight years now. (22f, 23m) In the beginning he used porn religiously, and it showed. By that I mean how porn conditions men at a very young age that they are allowed to access a woman’s body as an object in any position or act that they want at any point in time, whenever they want it, without consent ever being a question. That said, we had a rough start. He didn’t understand consent. I’d like to say we’ve moved past it. It was only a few hiccups that happened 2-3 times at the very beginning that have never happened again. I remember whenever I found out about his porn use. I talked to him about how half the time those girls don’t even want to be doing it, how many of them are on porn hub as victims of sexual trafficking, how objectifying it is, the whole ten yards. Infuriating I even had to teach him about those things, but good that he seemed to listen. Time passed. Later I find out he moved onto animated porn as a substitute. That became a whole other ordeal because I thought he quit watching porn. Had to have another conversation about how it still promotes objectification, how it’s literally an addiction that rots your brain, how damaging it is for me and the idea of my own body. Again, the whole ten yards. He told me again he quit. I think I trusted that, kind of. I mostly became hyper sexual in response. I wanted to be better than the images on the porn sites. Did things I naturally wouldn’t just because I wanted to prove that I was better, that he didn’t need to go have a wank because I had already taken care of him. Looking back, I’m saddened for my past self and disgusted to realize that I’m still this way because of that past. So I started to cut back. Act more normal. Later I find out he started using porn again. But instead, it was a video of us together. In a position I distinctly remember being painful and unenjoyable. A video that I told him to delete. One I believed had been deleted. I had looked on his phone and everything for proof. Turns out it was saved on a google drive, along with photos of me from before I was 18 that I’d sent in highschool. At this point, it’s child pornography. I mean. It’s just me. But still… kind of weird, right? And again, those were also pictures I had previously told him to delete after he had taken screenshots without my consent. I freaked out. He acted like I was being ridiculous. I snapped at him, “you think it’s crazy that I’m having a fucking visceral response to finding out you were busy jerking off to shit I told you to delete while I was at home, alone, contemplating suicide because of how bad my mental health has been and I’m realizing I’m still just an object to you just how I was when you raped me when I was 17?” (Context, the deed was done while I was busy wanting to off myself) Even now the thought of that moment makes my stomach turn. I’m not saying it was bad he jerked off or anything. But the problem is, is that we agreed to only get off together. I’m in med school. He works non stop. We’re both busy, but it’s not like sex drive just up and disappears because of that. I spent weeks waiting, weeks trying to initiate, just to later find out the reason I was feeling unwanted and ignored was because he had already taken care of things himself. It got me to the point of saying “how is it that you’re with someone who would literally love to have sex with you multiple times a day and you prefer to go do that instead?” It hurts to realize how… insecure it’s made me, even if the porn he’s using is literally ME. I can barely understand it myself. I took a jab at him at that point, “do you know how many guys would literally kill to have that?” A snarky comment I probably shouldn’t haven’t made. All he could say was “that’s just not it.” For the most part outside of these isolated incidences I feel like things are good. But my god, does this ever end? At what point will this nagging sensation that he’ll always prefer what’s on the screen over me will pass? He’s told me he doesn’t even look at other people. That I’m the only one he wants. I believe it. But even so, I just don’t get preferring videos of me over the real thing whenever I tend to just do whatever he wants.

posted by /u/aggressive-ghost in /r/loveafterporn on February 2, 2023 14:19:12

https://www.reddit.com/r/lonely/comments/10rhpit/im_rotting_from_the_inside_out/

When I was 13, my family moved. Behind our new house was a small forest, at least a forest by suburban standards, jt couldn’t have been more than a couple acres. I remember walking through the forest and coming upon a small stand of ash trees. Their bark still stuck to the wood, but their leaves never budded in spring, and they never dropped those papery seeds that maples have that I’d grown to love. It’s only when I pulled back the bark and revealed king meandering trails left by beetles did I realize that the trees had long been dead, the insects slowly eating away at them from the inside. Six years later, I lie in my college bed. I can feel the melatonin setting in, and my stomach seems to be beckoning me to eat, though I’m far too exhausted to get up, and if I wasn’t there’s nothing to eat besides cup noodles that I’m exhausted of. And now, a semester and a quarter in, with no friends, I realize that I too am rotting from the insides. The long hours spent alone in my dorm, studying, playing video games, finding something to do, are slowly tearing apart my DNA, pulling my hair from the root, sowing the seeds of cancer that I’m going to reap in 40 years. And there is no pain like looking in the mirror and feeling both helpless and useless. I simply feel like I have nothing to talk about with these people, and they have nothing to talk about with me. If I find one thing in common I hammer out a conversation topic ad nauseum, and if we don’t I sit there in awkward silence, and when the club meeting is over no one ever bothers to text me back. Do you ever feel like you were never really taught how to talk to people? At the end of the day I just want friends who I can talk to, in person, not online friends who I sift out from a fraction kf a fraction of people, and I want people who I can feel safe with. Im just tired of being alone, and I’m tired of the same advice. ‘Put yourself out there.’ ‘Go to clubs.’ I do that, and I just can’t tell what it is about me that seems incapable of leaving a lasting impression. I try to be funny, I make jokes, they laugh, and they forgot about me existence as soon as I leave the room. If I were to scream, who would hear me?

posted by /u/Ghost-Of-Roger-Ailes in /r/lonely on February 2, 2023 00:19:53

https://v.redd.it/ynoghs9kdlfa1

posted by /u/DARK-GHOST-47 in /r/khoobe on February 1, 2023 10:01:42

https://www.reddit.com/r/AskDocs/comments/10qws7x/was_told_i_would_have_an_ultrasound_for_my/

I am 33f, diagnosed with depression, anxiety, anemia, BPD traits, and ocd. I am taking protonix 40mg, 50,000 uni vitamin D once a week, and iron. I have been having stomach issues (intense burning and it doesn’t communicate when I’m hungry, it just burns) since middle 2020. I’ve had heartburn before but this doesn’t go up like that, it’s just my stomach that has intense burning. I’m August 2022 I was able to get an endoscopy and while they saw some slight irritation they saw no issues. In July 2022 I had a complete abdominal ultrasound and they saw no gallstones and no issues. Since I have been on protonix the pain has lessened but still shows up sometimes, especially if I’ve missed a dose. So my doctor sent me to get an ultrasound of the gallbladder and when I went in today there was instead a ct scan like machine and I had to get an injection for them to track on the imaging. I also had to lay there for and hour and a half while they collected data. Nobody prepped me for this, I had no idea I was going to be contained for and hour and half, I thought I was having an ultrasound. I am on disability and Medicare because of my mental health, it got really bad and scary in 2019 and I’m still struggling, and I was granted disability in 2021 and got Medicare in 2022. I obviously don’t have a lot of income and I’m worried this process will cost a lot more than an ultrasound. I guess my question is, is this normal to change from an ultrasound to the scanner and not tell or prep me for it? And what can I expect going forward? Thank you for your time.

posted by /u/Ghost-Music in /r/AskDocs on February 1, 2023 10:00:32

https://www.reddit.com/r/pathoftitans/comments/10qvlw1/i_think_i_finally_understand_the_frustration_with/

About 30 minutes ago, I was playing on Panjura on an official server. I logged in with my sub-adult Allosaurus and spawned in Spined Lizard Lagoon, only to get attacked on sight by two Eos a few seconds later. I ran into one of the big lakes, thinking it would make them lose the will to kill me if I was in the water. But I was wrong; one Eo was standing by the edge of the water, while the other charged to the other side of the lake that I was (ever so slowly) swimming towards. Since Allo sucks at swimming, I obviously lost stamina incredibly fast, and decided to inch my way back to the shore. I was then killed by both of them and they ran away immediately after. They didn't even want anything to do with my dino's body afterwards. Didn't take a trophy or anything. They just killed me to kill me. The fact that I, a sub-adult Allo was hurrying to escape into the water should be a clear indicator to them both that I posed no threat, and was not at all in the mood for a fight. Especially since they most likely witnessed me spawn in front of them. I think I was a split-second too slow to report them for KOSing, because my game glitched the f\*ck out and instead of returning me to the character-select menu, I was sent back to Panjura, my Allo standing up and unable to move, but with zero health. I had to hard-reset the game to continue playing, but now I can't log in with any dino, because whichever dino I choose a message pops up that reads something like "This character is active on another server, please wait a few minutes." And I haven't been able to play for 20+ minutes. Why do some players have such an immense blood-lust? Even when someone is *clearly* not a threat to them, they will do *anything* to kill said player, no matter the cost. And even if my game somehow gets to work again, I'm not sure I want to play for the foreseeable future. That whole incident almost made me completely lose the will to play again. Thank you for reading my annoyingly long post lol.

posted by /u/icy-winter-ghost in /r/pathoftitans on February 1, 2023 09:09:25

https://www.reddit.com/r/selfimprovement/comments/10panv4/finding_direction_within_instead_of_without/

Something I don't know how to improve is finding my own direction and meaning in things from within, instead of from without. I fully realize that by creating this post, I'm searching for an external answer to my question, instead of an internal answer, and thereby breaking my own want. But I really just have a complete broken compass within, and I'd like some pointers on how to fix it. Let me outline a few examples: * I'm saving money from my Stock Purchase plan, but I literally don't know why other than "you should do that." It's good to save, but I have no clue what I'll ever use this money for, or when I'd take it out, and what it's "worth" to me. When to take the risk and use it. Same goes for retirement funds. Do I even want to retire? When? What would I do? I can't answer these questions because they're so vague. * Acquiring interests/hobbies from relatives. They like doing fires outside, making bread, working on cars. I try to do those things as well, thinking I might find some meaning in them, but I don't. I just do the activity and then go on with my life. I guess when I start asking myself questions like "Why am I even doing X, Y or Z?" I have no answer to myself; my mind is blank. Or if I try to tell myself that "it's fun" I know that's a lie, because I'm not experiencing joy while doing the thing. It's deeply concerning that the things that I do in no way feel personal to me, and I want to fix that. I want to be honest with myself but I don't even know where to start with that either. I can be honest in that "this activity or thing means nothing to me", but then I don't know where to go from there, so I look externally to something like Reddit for an answer.

posted by /u/Ghost-Salad in /r/selfimprovement on January 30, 2023 13:54:17

https://www.reddit.com/r/buildapc/comments/10oiu13/retiring_ancient_pc_of_13_years_ready_for_huge/

It's been a looong time since my last PC build and I'm looking for some feedback on my planned specs. I have always built past PCs semi-conservatively; keeping costs to $800 - $1200, upgrade RAM/CPU later, shying a few steps away from top of the line hardware. I use various 2D/3D/Video software professionally and personally, often several loaded at the same time, and I occasionally game on PC. Surprisingly, I have gotten by for quite some time on my current setup, but the gap between my work PC and home PC is now too vast to ignore! Budget-wise, I started around $2500, but now I'm bouncing around $4k. The results below are from many hours of research over the last month. Some notes/questions: \- Water cooling systems just make me nervous. I've added and subtracted a few times. I don't think I can do it. \- 128 GB ram is what I have at work, so I'm just matching. \- 4080? 4090? 3080? They're all a huge upgrade from my... uhh GTX 1060? \- Super interested in getting a Samsung Neo G9 monitor, and I think this setup works well with that plan, I think? \- 1000W PS good enough? My research says so, but I still feel like I'm missing something. \- I really don't think I'd use the Wifi on the MB, surprised this is a thing nowadays... I'd do anything to connect via cable. But the MB seems pretty great? Looks dope. \- I read that the Ryzen 3D chips are coming very soon. Do I wait for them? \- I really want a quiet PC, not interested in RGB, but I like to have a windowed case, is that strange? \- Is the CPU cooler enough? \- Not bothered by "future-proof", obviously I just sit on a PC for 10+ years with an occasional targeted upgrade, and I'll be back on this reddit in 2033. \- Current PC for reference: i7 860, GTX 1060 6GB, 16GB DDR3 1600 Thanks for reading! ​ [PCPartPicker Part List](https://pcpartpicker.com/list/7Zmyzf) |Type|Item|Price| |:-|:-|:-| |**CPU**|[AMD Ryzen 9 7900X 4.7 GHz 12-Core Processor](https://pcpartpicker.com/product/bwxRsY/amd-ryzen-9-7900x-47-ghz-12-core-processor-100-100000589wof)|$419.99 @ Amazon| |**CPU Cooler**|[Noctua NH-D15 chromax.black 82.52 CFM CPU Cooler](https://pcpartpicker.com/product/84MTwP/noctua-nh-d15-chromaxblack-8252-cfm-cpu-cooler-nh-d15-chromaxblack)|$109.95 @ Amazon| |**Motherboard**|[Asus ROG STRIX X670E-E GAMING WIFI ATX AM5 Motherboard](https://pcpartpicker.com/product/bGrRsY/asus-rog-strix-x670e-e-gaming-wifi-atx-am5-motherboard-rog-strix-x670e-e-gaming-wifi)|$499.99 @ Amazon| |**Memory**|[Corsair Vengeance 64 GB (2 x 32 GB) DDR5-5600 CL40 Memory](https://pcpartpicker.com/product/MDgFf7/corsair-vengeance-64-gb-2-x-32-gb-ddr5-5600-cl40-memory-cmk64gx5m2b5600c40)|$274.99 @ Newegg| |**Memory**|[\*Corsair Vengeance 64 GB (2 x 32 GB) DDR5-5600 CL40 Memory](https://pcpartpicker.com/product/MDgFf7/corsair-vengeance-64-gb-2-x-32-gb-ddr5-5600-cl40-memory-cmk64gx5m2b5600c40)|$274.99 @ Newegg| |**Storage**|[Samsung 970 Evo Plus 2 TB M.2-2280 PCIe 3.0 X4 NVME Solid State Drive](https://pcpartpicker.com/product/Fv8j4D/samsung-970-evo-plus-2-tb-m2-2280-nvme-solid-state-drive-mz-v7s2t0bam)|$179.99 @ Newegg| |**Storage**|[Samsung 970 Evo Plus 2 TB M.2-2280 PCIe 3.0 X4 NVME Solid State Drive](https://pcpartpicker.com/product/Fv8j4D/samsung-970-evo-plus-2-tb-m2-2280-nvme-solid-state-drive-mz-v7s2t0bam)|$177.50 @ Amazon| |**Video Card**|[Asus TUF GAMING OC GeForce RTX 4090 24 GB Video Card](https://pcpartpicker.com/product/rB2WGX/asus-tuf-gaming-oc-geforce-rtx-4090-24-gb-video-card-tuf-rtx4090-o24g-gaming)|$1799.99 @ ASUS| |**Case**|[Fractal Design Define 7 XL Dark ATX Full Tower Case](https://pcpartpicker.com/product/JJNgXL/fractal-design-define-7-xl-dark-atx-full-tower-case-fd-c-def7x-03)|$249.98 @ Newegg| |**Power Supply**|[Corsair HX1000i (2022) 1000 W 80+ Platinum Certified Fully Modular ATX Power Supply](https://pcpartpicker.com/product/XBVmP6/corsair-hx1000i-2022-1000-w-80-platinum-certified-fully-modular-atx-power-supply-cp-9020214-na)|$259.99 @ Amazon| |**Operating System**|[Microsoft Windows 11 Home Retail - Download 64-bit](https://pcpartpicker.com/product/7ZpzK8/microsoft-windows-11-home-retail-download-64-bit-kw9-00664)|$139.00 @ Adorama| |**Case Fan**|[Fractal Design Dynamic X2 GP-14 68.4 CFM 140 mm Fan](https://pcpartpicker.com/product/nrFXsY/fractal-design-x2-gp-14-black-684-cfm-140mm-fan-fd-fan-dyn-x2-gp14-bk)|$22.98 @ Newegg| |**Case Fan**|[Fractal Design Dynamic X2 GP-14 68.4 CFM 140 mm Fan](https://pcpartpicker.com/product/nrFXsY/fractal-design-x2-gp-14-black-684-cfm-140mm-fan-fd-fan-dyn-x2-gp14-bk)|$22.98 @ Newegg| |**Case Fan**|[Fractal Design Dynamic X2 GP-14 68.4 CFM 140 mm Fan](https://pcpartpicker.com/product/nrFXsY/fractal-design-x2-gp-14-black-684-cfm-140mm-fan-fd-fan-dyn-x2-gp14-bk)|$22.98 @ Newegg| |**Case Fan**|[Fractal Design Dynamic X2 GP-14 68.4 CFM 140 mm Fan](https://pcpartpicker.com/product/nrFXsY/fractal-design-x2-gp-14-black-684-cfm-140mm-fan-fd-fan-dyn-x2-gp14-bk)|$22.98 @ Newegg| |*Prices include shipping, taxes, rebates, and discounts*||| |**Total**|**$4478.28**|| |\*Lowest price parts chosen from parametric criteria||| |Generated by [PCPartPicker](https://pcpartpicker.com) 2023-01-29 15:20 EST-0500|||

posted by /u/BATTLE--GHOST in /r/buildapc on January 29, 2023 16:14:42

https://www.reddit.com/r/HatsuVault/comments/10odox3/fantastic_beast_class_file_roc/

**Subject Name:** Roc **Classification:** Fantastic beast **Status:** Presumed Extinct **Threat Level:** N/A **Location:** Formerly the Dark Continent, any high mountain range, Persia **Appearance:** Usually described as a white or tawny colored bird, its wingspan was reported to be an amazing 48 feet in length complete with feathers as big as palm leaves. The Roc was so big that its eggs were said to be over 150 feet in circumference and the creature would only land on the mountain Qaf, the center of the world. In truth, this bird would nest in any high, dry location that it deemed safe enough to nest. **Origins:** Little is known of this creature, as it is believe to be extinct. From what we have gathered, the Roc used out highest and most remote peaks as nesting places for its young. After it had raised its children to the point where they could fly, it would migrate with its family back to the Dark Continent. Believed to be a descendent of the dinosaurs, primarily the pterodactyl. **Abilities and Powers:** Supersonic Flight, High Resistance to heat and cold, razor sharp beak and claws **Additional Information:** It is believed that the long gestational period, extensive time to mature, and its diet lead to this beast's extinction. Its only true safe place to nest was in our mainland, and human expansion soon made that impossible. It had a carnivorous diet and its main food sources were apes, primarily humans, gorillas, and Yetis. Ranged weaponry curbed this animals desire for human flesh, and its other food source, the Yeti, was hunted to near extinction. All of this we assume cumulated in the downfall of this species. Further research is required.

posted by /u/Ghost-in-the-Attic in /r/HatsuVault on January 29, 2023 12:51:28

https://www.reddit.com/r/PubTips/comments/10nwjdh/pubq_unexpected_offer_too_quick_too_small/

This past summer, I finished a polished draft (seven years in the making) of my niche market, nonfiction book, and immediately began seeking appropriate readers (guinea pigs, really) for response and reviews. I found two, both highly credentialed in the appropriate field. My first reader's review was glowing. Great. Good news taken with skeptical humility. My second reader is an editor for a very small but historically established journal. The initial plan was for him to read the book, give me his thoughts, and decide if my work was a fit for his journal to publish a small excerpt. Before I get ahead of myself: for the past few months, I have begun the grueling and all around unpleasant task of querying agents, a decidedly difficult task for niche market nonfiction. I have been writing, rewriting, tweaking, regularly re-conceiving the querying materials on a bi weekly basis. And submitting when I don't feel too discouraged. The wait, and everything, soooo painful. Today, after a delay (which made me think I had been brushed off) I finally received an email from the second reviewer. My book is "wonderful and eclectic" he said. That was it. And then he made an unsolicited offer of publication. Man of very few words. Right to the point. So here I am, unpublished. Seeking agents for a niche nonfiction book, which I think is something special (of course), I have had two readers. Both have given glowing reviews. And I have an unsolicited offer to publish from what would be a microscopic imprint compared to many other small publishers out there. The editor (second reader) is well credentialed (as mentioned before) and has himself been published in major global periodicals with some regularity. He undoubtedly has connections. My primary concern is not monetary, rather market reach, promotion and quality of reviewers--because my goal is to get my nonfiction work out there to bolster a niche career--to get footing in the field. Two for two with readers seems like such a small pool to gauge reception potential, but at the same time, it feels great; not to mention the offer of publication. Obviously I should probe more deeply into the potential of saying yes to this unexpected offer. But should I double down and hold out for an agent? Are there specific questions I should be asking? Any advice would be greatly welcomed.

posted by /u/head-ghost in /r/PubTips on January 28, 2023 21:26:58

https://www.reddit.com/r/PubTips/comments/10nwif1/pubq/

This past summer, I finished a polished draft (seven years in the making) of my niche market, nonfiction book, and immediately began seeking appropriate readers (guinea pigs, really) for response and reviews. I found two, both highly credentialed in the appropriate field. My first reader's review was glowing. Great. Good news taken with skeptical humility. My second reader is an editor for a very small but historically established journal. The initial plan was for him to read the book, give me his thoughts, and decide if my work was a fit for his journal to publish a small excerpt. Before I get ahead of myself: for the past few months, I have begun the grueling and all around unpleasant task of querying agents, a decidedly difficult task for niche market nonfiction. I have been writing, rewriting, tweaking, regularly re-conceiving the querying materials on a bi weekly basis. And submitting when I don't feel too discouraged. The wait, and everything, soooo painful. Today, after a delay (which made me think I had been brushed off) I finally received an email from the second reviewer. My book is "wonderful and eclectic" he said. That was it. And then he made an unsolicited offer of publication. Man of very few words. Right to the point. So here I am, unpublished. Seeking agents for a niche nonfiction book, which I think is something special (of course), I have had two readers. Both have given glowing reviews. And I have an unsolicited offer to publish from what would be a microscopic imprint compared to many other small publishers out there. The editor (second reader) is well credentialed (as mentioned before) and has himself been published in major global periodicals with some regularity. He undoubtedly has connections. My primary concern is not monetary, rather market reach, promotion and quality of reviewers--because my goal is to get my nonfiction work out there to bolster a niche career--to get footing in the field. Two for two with readers seems like such a small pool to gauge reception potential, but at the same time, it feels great; not to mention the offer of publication. Obviously I should probe more deeply into the potential of saying yes to this unexpected offer. But should I double down and hold out for an agent? Are there specific questions I should be asking? Any advice would be greatly welcomed.

posted by /u/head-ghost in /r/PubTips on January 28, 2023 21:25:31

https://www.reddit.com/r/PubTips/comments/10lzmpu/pubq_ive_written_myself_into_a_corner_help/

I've recently finished a work of nonfiction and gotten a highly credentialed beta-reader (previously unknown to me) to read my polished draft to resoundingly positive reviews. My book is a highly nontraditional work with very few if no similar books to it (though it can be categorized based on subject matter, it is not so easily done by its content and necessary mode of exposition). So here is my problem: I've written the book. I didn't realize this would be a problem. Now, I come to find that I shouldn't have written then book, but should have written a proposal first. My beta reader (Oxford PhD in lit and an university educator) was enthusiastically adamant that it need to go to a publisher. "Get thee to a publisher," he wrote. Admittedly, he was of the old school and never had to navigate the previous two decades of digitized publishing bureaucracy. I feel stuck. I am confident I have written a strong, original, creative, and relevant work, easily popularizable in some regards--and headline worthy. It can be adapted or edited as a publisher might see fit. Also, the nature of the project and its subject matter implies a number of spin-offs already in the outline stages directed at a larger audience--as well as IP likely to garner a long term revenue stream. Of course, this is just my and my beta reader's opinion. What the heck do I do? I should be explicit: I'd like to go a more traditional route with an agent or a publisher.

posted by /u/head-ghost in /r/PubTips on January 26, 2023 14:05:51

https://www.reddit.com/r/publishing/comments/10ltjix/written_myself_into_a_corner_help/

I've recently finished a work of nonfiction and gotten a highly credentialed beta-reader (previously unknown to me) to read my polished draft to resoundingly positive reviews. My book is a highly nontraditional work with very few if no similar books to it (though it can be categorized based on subject matter, it is not so easily done by its content and necessary mode of exposition). So here is my problem: I've written the book. I didn't realize this would be a problem. Now, I come to find that I shouldn't have written then book, but should have written a proposal first. My beta reader (Oxford PhD in lit and an university educator) was enthusiastically adamant that it need to go to a publisher "Get thee to a publisher," he wrote. Admittedly, he was of the old school and never had to navigate the previous two decades of digitized publishing bureaucracy. I feel stuck. I am confident I have written a strong, original, creative, and relevant work, easily popularizable in some regards--and headline worthy. It can be adapted or edited as publisher might see fit. Also, the nature of the project and its subject matter implies a number of spin-offs already in the outline stages directed at a larger audience--as well as IP likely to garner a long term revenue stream. Of course, this is just my and my beta reader's opinion. What the heck do I do?

posted by /u/head-ghost in /r/publishing on January 26, 2023 09:51:26

https://www.reddit.com/r/stopdrinking/comments/10l3wx9/im_really_tempted_to_go_out_drinking_tonight/

It's exactly 6 PM on a Wednesday here in Denmark, so nothing is open right now, even though I live in a big city. I haven't had alcohol since July, which is 6 months ago. In June I turned 30 and promised myself to never drink again after my 30th birthday, but I already gave up a month later. Now I'm at 6 months and I can't stop thinking about drinking. Whenever I did drink, I went to bars/pubs/nightclubs. I never drank alone in my home, because I craved the social interaction with strangers as much as the alcohol, but alcohol made me feel brave enough to actually talk to strangers. I'm autistic, live alone in a 1 room apartment, and I'm autistic. I don't have any friends, and I don't want my siblings to know I have alcohol problems, so I can't talk to them either. I feel so incredibly lonely, and I've always used alcohol as a "crutch" to be social. When I'm sober I'm basically mute; I don't talk to anyone except my 2 siblings, and they're both too busy being new parents and taking care of each their respective child. So phone-conversations are usually short and strained. I've looked online, and some pubs will open at 9/10 PM, which is in a few hours. I really want to go, so that I can get some alcohol and also get a chance to be social. The only thing that makes me hesitate is not even the thought of my health, money and how I will feel tomorrow. I think of my two little nephews who should only ever witness me be healthy, happy and sober. But unfortunately, and I really hate myself for this, the thought of being a healthy, happy and sober aunt for my nephews is not a powerful enough feeling to keep me from drinking. I just feel so lonely without alcohol, as alcohol is the only thing that has ever helped me have even the tiniest sliver of a social life. So I don't know what to choose, a healthy and sober life without anyone to talk to, or risking my health and eventually being poor but at least I have a social life? I'm really close to just saying "f\*ck it" and go out tonight.

posted by /u/icy-winter-ghost in /r/stopdrinking on January 25, 2023 12:17:34

https://www.reddit.com/r/TopSurgery/comments/10k8f66/consultation_with_ioannis_ntanos_tomorrow/

Hi! I have my consultation with Ioannis Ntanos tomorrow and was wondering if anyone could tell me what to expect? I also have a list of questions to ask and would like to know if there’s anything else I should ask him? The only option I have is double incision, so I don’t need to ask questions about what options I have/ what surgeries he performs. - [ ] What are my payment options? - [ ] Could I see some photos of your results? - [ ] Have you done surgeries on patients with a similar build to mine? (Large chest, overweight, low skin elasticity) - [ ] What can I do between now and my surgery to ensure I get the best results? - [ ] What percentage of your patients require revisions? - [ ] Approximately how long will the surgery take? - [ ] If I have any complications will I need to come back to Manchester or will I be able to go to my local hospital? - [ ] Do I need to stop taking testosterone/ diazepam before the surgery? If so for how long? - [ ] How long before the surgery will I need to stop smoking weed? - [ ] Are revisions covered in the original cost or will they be extra? - [ ] How long will I stay in hospital for? - [ ] How long after surgery is it recommended that I wait before beginning to lift heavy objects? - [ ] Do you use drains? - [ ] Will I need to travel back to Manchester for drain/ stitch removal? - [ ] Will I have to take out my face piercings before the surgery? - [ ] What supplies do I need for post surgery? Are they provided or will I need to buy them? If I need to buy them, what are your recommendations? - [ ] What are my options for scar shapes?

posted by /u/ghost-mochi in /r/TopSurgery on January 24, 2023 10:46:03

https://discord.gg/cdg

posted by /u/-Ghost-21- in /r/asstastic on January 24, 2023 00:57:04

https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/10jxf3s/aita_for_refusing_to_make_amends_with_my_cousin/

Hi everyone! I hope you're all happy and healthy! 😄 My cousin Mandy \[30F\] did something that made me feel incredibly betrayed last week, and I thought I'd "sanity check" the situation before I go and do something I might regret. For context, my \[30M\] job affords me a great deal of freedom when structuring my day, including working remotely if I'm not required to be physically present. Other than being expected to be reachable during business hours I can do what I want when I want as long as my responsibilities are met. My Grandmother \[90-something F\] is ill, so the extended family has all travelled back to our home city (Melbourne, Australia) to see her, and each other. Many of the family living locally, including Mandy, took annual leave to spend time with the family who lived abroad. I was fortunate enough to be having a slow week at work, so didn't want to waste my annual leave, but nevertheless took the time off to spend it with everyone else. When I was (admittedly) bragging about how good I had it, Mandy made some comments regarding the unethical nature of my behavior. I don't think it's unethical. In fact, my performance reviews has been nothing but stellar. After all, I'm not paid for my hours; I'm paid to deliver results. Sometimes I work 10 hours a week, most of the time I work closer to 80. It just happens that last week my situation was that of the former instead of the latter. Mandy "respectfully" disagreed. Which is Mandy's prerogative. But I didn't really care what Mandy thought of me, so I didn't give her opinions much room in my head. That's until she recorded me enjoying myself with my cousins, during business hours, and sent that recording to the complaints department of my firm. My manager spoke to me this morning, to explain the situation. The short of it is: while the unofficial position is that I did nothing wrong, the official position is that it is not a good look. Fortunately, because of my exemplary track record, this incident will be brushed under the rug. Because I felt so incredibly betrayed by my cousin I publicly called her her out in our extended family group chat. While everyone remained polite, Mandy did receive a few pointed comments to the effect of, "why did you feel the need to do that?". Mandy's response that she felt my conduct was "unethical" was received by my family as well as I had received it. The end result is that Mandy left the group chat, and informed my Grandmother that she won't be attending my Grandmother's dinner this weekend. My Grandmother is understandably upset that one of her grandchildren won't be at her dinner, but am I right to think that that isn't on me? Or AITA, and should just make amends with Mandy for my Grandmother's sake? Thanks for reading!

posted by /u/DPP-Ghost in /r/AmItheAsshole on January 23, 2023 23:46:38

https://www.reddit.com/r/vosfinances/comments/10j8wsz/création_de_contenu_et_impôts/

Bonjour à tous ! Je suis français et vis en France. Je débute tout doucement dans la création d'illustrations depuis quelques jours. A vrai dire, je ne connais pas beaucoup ce milieu, n'étant pas quelqu'un provenant du milieu artistique. Je me suis inscrit récemment sur le site DeviantArt sur lequel j'ai posté mes créations. Je rencontre un petit succès et je réfléchis à passer certaines créations en "premium" afin que les membres puissent les acheter et les télécharger dans leur format original. DeviantArt me propose plusieurs options dont : * La vente premium qui, comme indiqué plus haut, permet aux gens de m'acheter mes créations * L'abonnement mensuel où les gens peuvent choisir de me soutenir en me donnant une somme que j'aurai fixé (même principe qu'un Patreon) Les transactions se font via une monnaie virtuelle utilisée sur DeviantArt appelée "points". En somme, un utilisateur peut acheter des points avec de l'argent réel à DeviantArt, puis acheter du contenu avec ces points. [De ce que j'en ai compris](https://www.deviantartsupport.com/en/article/what-are-points-1749105), il ne s'agit pas d'actifs numériques mais juste de crédits ! Le truc, c'est ce que ces crédits peuvent éventuellement être transformés en argent réel via virement PayPal par exemple **si l'utilisateur le veut**. Je sais que je gagnerai jamais des milles et des cents, mon contenu n'étant pas suffisamment incroyable et ce n'est de toute évidence pas mon but. Mais j'ai plusieurs questions : * Tant que les points restent des points, je n'ai aucune déclaration à faire aux impôts, correct? Dans ce scénario, j'utiliserais mes points pour payer mon abonnement de créateur de contenu DeviantArt et ça s'arrêterait là. * En revanche, si je viens à toucher ces points sous forme de virement PayPal, comment ça se passe? Dois-je déclarer quelque chose qu'importe le montant? Y a-t-il un plafond? Serais-je considéré comme autoentrepreneur? Merci beaucoup de votre éclairage sur le sujet ! :)

posted by /u/ghost-hardware017 in /r/vosfinances on January 23, 2023 04:56:36

https://www.reddit.com/r/BPDPartners/comments/10itmb9/what_should_i_tell_my_ex/

I dated my ex who has BPD last year on and off for 3-6 months. We broke up so often I couldn’t quite keep track of the time. We’d break up due to her perceiving rejection and doing the whole “I’m going to leave you before you leave me,” spiel even though I never wanted to leave her. Except for our last breakup, which was a year ago. I was still fully in love with her. She came back as she always did, but I said no. My problem had been that she refused to tell a girl she told me “if we weren’t dating I’d be dating her right now” that we were together. She’d send me screenshots of their flirty texts. Talk about her often. Now I’m polyamorous, but we were in a monogamous relationship as per my partner’s wishes. That said, it was weird to me she kept this side relationship given that context. Time goes on, I had some things about our relationship I wanted to discuss. She ignores it, preferring to tell me about how upset she is the side girl didn’t want to stay in contact after she had confessed she was in love with my ex and my ex had finally told her we had been dating for months. I had had enough. I told her, “if you want to be with her then go ahead.” “are you saying you want to break up?” “That’s not what I’m saying at all.” Long story short, I fucked up saying that and we broke up. I hated how relieved I felt. Time passed, and she came back asking to be together after she had gone and dated this side girl and “had a bpd freak out on her.” It felt like a spit in the face. I thought it was all my ego so I tried to get past it. Finals were coming up and I’m in medical school so I had asked her if we could please discuss our relationship in two weeks whenever I was done with board exams. We had reassured each other we would not be seeing or pursuing anyone else within that time. When it came time for us to talk, I was ready to get back together. This is when she told me she had a girlfriend. Sure enough, I was played just as bad as the other woman, and here my ex was asking to be friends after telling me how in love she was with me two weeks prior. At that point I told her no. I begged her to never ask anything of me again. To never contact me. She assured me she wouldn’t, but begged me to not block her number. It was already hard enough asking for no contact for as much as I was in love with her. I didn’t have the heart to block her. I put my faith in her promise to respect what I had asked, and deleted her number completely. No way for me to block or contact her. This was in august. Five months pass and I see a “hey, how are you?” text from her. I get an anxiety attack because I knew how much I still loved her and how painful that love is. I get anxious at the thought of what she could have possibly messaged me for and what that means for me and all else. I did not have the strength to ignore her text. She eventually tells me she “just had the urge to check in.” At 3am? I was doubtful. “That’s fine. If there was anything else you wanted to talk about I just want to reassure you that I have the time and space for it.” I’ve been left on delivered for two days now and absolutely want to pull my hair out at the thought of that. How is it I can be so seemingly more concerned about someone so willing to disrespect and ignore me than I am about myself? I want a relationship with her even if it’s just friends. But at the same time I’m so terribly tortured by it with or without her. I don’t know if I should just block her now. If I should just ignore anymore messages. If I should reach out, be just a little more vulnerable. I hate this. I hate that I even have to be worrying about this. What should I do here? Do you have any similar stories I can pull some advice from? I need some guidance and peace of mind.

posted by /u/aggressive-ghost in /r/BPDPartners on January 22, 2023 15:40:47

https://www.reddit.com/r/truscum/comments/10irpvi/why_do_some_non_binary_people_insist_on_wanting/

I don’t want to come off as rude, I just genuinely cannot understand why non binary people who do not transition, make no effort to appear any different to their AGAB or do nothing transition-wise other than maybe putting “she/they, they/them or he/they” in their bios want to be part of the trans community. It just baffles me honestly. We have nothing in common at all. I thought the point of a community was to find people who have shared experiences but, as a trans man, I have absolutely nothing in common with, for example, my friend E who insists on being called they/them despite calling themself a lesbian and presenting completely as a cis female. I don’t really have an issue with people who dress according the their AGAB because clothing choice doesn’t really have anything to do with gender (I find it odd because it can help so much with passing, but people can do what they want with that I guess ) but when people openly show their bodies’ AGAB features I just don’t get it. Wouldn’t someone who is non binary have dysphoria over their sex characteristics? If not, what makes them non binary?? I feel like I’m being unintentionally malicious, but it really feels like people are appropriating what it means to be trans. Like I saw an AFAB “non binary person” (who goes by she/ they and dresses in ways that show her chest and talks about periods and having a vagina very openly) holding a trans flag and calling herself a trans person but what makes her so ? How do they fit in here? I just don’t get it. They’re the same kind of people who constantly moan about how little conversation there is about “trans joy”. I think that’s because being trans is not that joyful, and in fact being trans has inherently made my life worse due to comorbid mental illnesses that come along with gender dysphoria, but they see it as some sort of internally transphobic statement. I’m just sick of it to be honest. It feels like I’m being pushed out of conversations that are directly affecting my life, all because some non binary people feel more entitled to talk about these issues that really do not affect them.

posted by /u/ghost-mochi in /r/truscum on January 22, 2023 14:21:38

https://www.reddit.com/r/truscum/comments/10irpqb/why_do_some_non_binary_people_insist_on_wanting/

I don’t want to come off as rude, I just genuinely cannot understand why non binary people who do not transition, make no effort to appear any different to their AGAB or do nothing transition-wise other than maybe putting “she/they, they/them or he/they” in their bios want to be part of the trans community. It just baffles me honestly. We have nothing in common at all. I thought the point of a community was to find people who have shared experiences but, as a trans man, I have absolutely nothing in common with, for example, my friend E who insists on being called they/them despite calling themself a lesbian and presenting completely as a cis female. I don’t really have an issue with people who dress according the their AGAB because clothing choice doesn’t really have anything to do with gender (I find it odd because it can help so much with passing, but people can do what they want with that I guess ) but when people openly show their bodies’ AGAB features I just don’t get it. Wouldn’t someone who is non binary have dysphoria over their sex characteristics? If not, what makes them non binary?? I feel like I’m being unintentionally malicious, but it really feels like people are appropriating what it means to be trans. Like I saw an AFAB “non binary person” (who goes by she/ they and dresses in ways that show her chest and talks about periods and having a vagina very openly) holding a trans flag and calling herself a trans person but what makes her so ? How do they fit in here? I just don’t get it. They’re the same kind of people who constantly moan about how little conversation there is about “trans joy”. I think that’s because being trans is not that joyful, and in fact being trans has inherently made my life worse due to comorbid mental illnesses that come along with gender dysphoria, but they see it as some sort of internally transphobic statement. I’m just sick of it to be honest. It feels like I’m being pushed out of conversations that are directly affecting my life, all because some non binary people feel more entitled to talk about these issues that really do not affect them.

posted by /u/ghost-mochi in /r/truscum on January 22, 2023 14:21:28

https://www.reddit.com/r/Vent/comments/10hi9zn/yes_im_serving_the_doritos/

I'm (34F) really upset, and I just need to vent about it. So, I've been living in a city that I haven't had a ton of great experiences in for the last 3 years. I haven't made what I'd consider any "real" friends here but I have collected a number of acquaintances that I see at parties that my boyfriend (43M) gets us invited to. This is the Burning Man founders crowd, and I've never felt very connected to that community, but thats the best way to describe this group which includes people from 25 to 55. I've been hoping to go deeper with some of those acquaintances to hopefully turn some of them into friends and last month I had the idea to host a crafting party on a Sunday afternoon. So I planned it and it's coming up this weekend. For some background, many of these folks are creatives and always have something to work on, and so I figured it would be a fun parallel play sort of activity (where we all work on our own things but hang out together). I am the child of an art teacher and have been fairly crafty for much of my life, and as a result have a lot of art supplies for various projects I've done over the years. I've got copious amounts of wool roving to make wall hangings, leather scraps and tools to make leather goods, a lot of funky clothes and scraps to throw on the sewing machine to whip up a fun outfit, paints galore with blank canvases to spare, and dozens of 3D paper mask patterns and cardstock to make it happen. After polling the attendees (~15-20 people) about what appeals to those who might not have a craft, it turns out the masks are poised to be a wildly popular choice. For those who are curious, I've made half a dozen of LapaStudios (find them online on Etsy etc) masks over the last few years and I've purchased 10 of their patterns over time. I put in the work to print them onto sturdy cardstock, ordered more scissors, hot glue guns, metal rulers, and everything needed to bring these beauties to life. My boyfriend, who I met these people through, also lives with me, and is excited to host in our house. This is mainly my event but I'm happy to have him involved. Earlier today I put in an Instacart order for party snacks and I felt like I covered my bases pretty well. In addition to our existing stock of fruits, nuts, and cheeses, I ordered some party staples, like mini cans of coca cola (and mini cherry coke because why not), la croix, bubly, and ginger beer; I also ordered chips: kettle cooked jalapeno chips, tortilla chips for salsa & guacamole, and a bag of Doritos. I was bummed that the Instacart picker wasn't able to find all of my items but I was glad that most of it made its way to me. Then my boyfriend asked if I expected to serve our guests chips. I said yes. You'd think I told him we were serving dog sh!t. He got very upset and said people were going to judge us for serving Doritos and that our guests expected better, to which I replied "Then I don't want those guests to attend. Please uninvite them." And of course that didn't go over well. He said "I've hosted parties and I know what people want" and I told him that that's nice for him but that this is literally a crafting party not a meal based event and I don't know what this elitism is all about. I admit I did give quite a bit of attitude and asked him if the hand soap I got was too trashy for our guests as well. We kept going back and forth and I told him I didn't want to talk anymore because it felt like he had no idea why I was offended. I'm downstairs writing this out because I feel like I can't be myself in my own home or I'll be judged for being too this or that. We've been together for almost 3 years. I know his parents always instilled this idea of keeping up appearances, but I never expected this because of how strongly he's rejected his parents other teachings, tbh. If this were a dinner event or a formal occasion I wouldn't serve chips. I'm from Kansas originally and it took me a little bit of time to get over the thought that I was "less than" my California counterparts when I first moved to the coast ~8 years ago. I've thankfully gotten over that and know that I am a capable, powerful, intelligent and loving individual regardless of whatever stereotypes people want to have about the Midwest. My boyfriend, who was born and raised in San Francisco, is trying to apologize via text (and from the other side of my closed door) but I don't think he really understands why this upset me. I'm upset because I don't want to surround myself with petty, fake people who look down upon someone for having a specific chip option at the snack table. And at this moment in time the only person I've been able to identify as fake or petty is my boyfriend. I'm really disappointed.

posted by /u/ghost-_-dog in /r/Vent on January 20, 2023 23:09:51

https://www.reddit.com/r/relationships_advice/comments/10h2whr/i_19f_and_my_boyfriend_21m_have_issues_in_our/

I, 19f, have been dating my boyfriend, 21m for about nine months now; we moved in together last summer when we had been toghter only for a bit over a month. A dumb move. I know, a move I now regret. He is lovely and such, but he has a horrible temper, losing his patience quickly over stupid things, and the most annoying thing is that he doesn't know how to clean or do any housework. I have to remind him over five times daily for basic tasks, and I am not asking him daily to clean the whole house; , usually it is me asking him to put the dishes in the washing machine or pick up his clothes from the floor. But when I clean or do a bigger amount of cleani,ng he rarely says even thank you, but rather starts judging. An example of this is that we just moved house since our last house had a lot of maintenance issues and was overall just not a good neighborhood, plus some pipes were leaking. Me and my friend 20f went to clean our previous home, but coudn't finish it due to her needing to leave for work early the next morning. And I told him this, that there were few things left there. We went there few days ago, and he immediately just starts saying how the place hadn't been cleaned at all, and I know it wasn't fully clean yet and I told him that before as well but he said that he thought that we had actually cleaned it. He has adhd and uses it as an excuse for his messy behavior and I excuse it a lot bc of that, and It's just easier to keep my mouth shut about it. I have talked to him about this many many times but nothing seems to work. He loves to complain about the fact that I don't want to do something, I am very introverted with social anxiety and i would rather just stay at home and read or be on my phone, and ofcourse I do stuff with him like visit his family and many other things, so it isn't that I isolate myself from him. His friends have been also very disrespectful to me, one even going as far as to yell at me to shut the fuck up when my opinion was asked on something and I didn't give the response that the friend liked. My boyfriend never defended me, and his friends and family drink a lot of alcohol and party, something I don't do at all. Which isn't an issue, he's a grown man and he can do as he pleases, but keeping me up at night while he is throwing up bc he drank too much every weekend isn't the life I want. We talked about separation at one point bc I want to move, he had a breakdown and managed to tell some of his family members something, which caused them to become very upset at me and pai ting me ad the villain whilst I just had said that I don't want to live here, bc it's a new city and I hate it tbh. If I leave him I will leave him in huuuge debt and in many problems financially. He didn't pay some bills when we moved in together and now he is making it seem like it was my fault and I have to stay until next summer of 2024 til our lease ends on this house. I love him but he is making it very hard to stay. He recently has also started to say how he can't live without me and such, which is scaring me tbh. I have no one in this town, my family lives hours away. I hate the situation I am in rn, and I feel very lost and hopeless bc I know this won't work out but I have to stay. I'll mess his life up if I leave and I don't want to do that, so I'll stay and I guess play pretend until he's back on his feet and then leave, which is an absolutedick move and will get me his friends coming after me but yeah. What should I do, I am not close to my mom at the moment due to other problems and my dad is pretty much out of the picture at this point. I have no friends here nor any family. And I don't want to be mean or leave him in huge trouble if I leave. Thank you for reading this and I hope you have a great day/night :)

posted by /u/ghost-rose in /r/relationships_advice on January 20, 2023 12:32:59

https://www.reddit.com/r/pcmasterrace/comments/10etco3/new_pc_turns_on_but_no_display_to_monitor/

I recently built a new computer but upon turning it on and plugging everything in there is no display to the monitor or power to the mouse or keyboard. My best guess is the motherboard bios is outdated but what do you all think? specs: [https://pcpartpicker.com/list/s6g6fv](https://pcpartpicker.com/list/s6g6fv) [**Intel Core i5-13600K 3.5 GHz 14-Core Processor**](https://pcpartpicker.com/product/LfNxFT/intel-core-i5-13600k-35-ghz-14-core-processor-bx8071513600k) [**Deepcool AK400 66.47 CFM CPU Cooler**](https://pcpartpicker.com/product/tvGbt6/deepcool-ak400-6647-cfm-cpu-cooler-ak400-wh) [**MSI PRO B660M-A WIFI DDR4 Micro ATX LGA1700 Motherboard**](https://pcpartpicker.com/product/34kWGX/msi-pro-b660m-a-wifi-ddr4-micro-atx-lga1700-motherboard-pro-b660m-a-wifi-ddr4) [**Corsair Vengeance RGB Pro SL 32 GB (2 x 16 GB) DDR4-3600 CL18 Memory**](https://pcpartpicker.com/product/bjjNnQ/corsair-vengeance-rgb-pro-sl-32-gb-2-x-16-gb-ddr4-3600-cl18-memory-cmh32gx4m2d3600c18w) 2x [**Western Digital Black SN770 1 TB M.2-2280 PCIe 4.0 X4 NVME Solid State Drive**](https://pcpartpicker.com/product/YVytt6/western-digital-1-tb-m2-2280-nvme-solid-state-drive-wds100t3x0e) [**Asus TUF GAMING GeForce RTX 3070 Ti 8 GB Video Card**](https://pcpartpicker.com/product/Dfnypg/asus-geforce-rtx-3070-ti-8-gb-tuf-gaming-video-card-tuf-rtx3070ti-8g-gaming) [**Lian Li LANCOOL 205 Mesh C ATX Mid Tower Case**](https://pcpartpicker.com/product/cMqPxr/lian-li-lancool-205-mesh-c-atx-mid-tower-case-g99oe764cw00am) [**Phanteks AMP 750 W 80+ Gold Certified Fully Modular ATX Power Supply**](https://pcpartpicker.com/product/fq4BD3/phanteks-amp-750-w-80-gold-certified-fully-modular-atx-power-supply-ph-p750g_us01)

posted by /u/Ghost-Mechanic in /r/pcmasterrace on January 17, 2023 19:58:03

https://www.reddit.com/r/ftm/comments/10er1p3/what_advice_would_you_give_to_a_trans_guy_going/

Hi, I am currently writing a blog post for a UK mental health charity on my own experience as a trans guy with who has struggled with an eating disorder. I want to include a section at the end of advice for other people currently dealing with this and would like to hear from other trans guys who've been in this situation, just so that I can get a well-rounded advice section of things that could help a wider variety of people, rather than just things that helped me. So far, the advice I am thinking to include would be \- Curate your social media feeds to feature a wide range of guys with different body types, not every trans man is a skinny white guy, we're a diverse group of people \- Try and limit how much time you spend reading the news and doom-scrolling, anti-trans news articles and comment sections will make you feel worse \- Try and think towards your long-term transition goals, for me a big reason to recover was that I had to make sure my mind and body were healthy enough for me to begin testosterone, which was not possible when in my ED \- Open up to someone about how you're feeling, eating disorders are inherently isolating illnesses, so having someone to talk to about what you're dealing with, whether it's an LGBT+ friendly counselling service, your local mental health team or someone close to you such as a friend or family member, having someone who understand what you're going through and is able to support you can make all the difference I'd really appreciate hearing what has helped you in your recovery :)

posted by /u/ghost-mochi in /r/ftm on January 17, 2023 18:23:12

https://www.reddit.com/gallery/10eqo02

posted by /u/ghost-whore in /r/BBW on January 17, 2023 18:07:59

https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/10eoavl/aita_for_snapping_out_on_my_dad_and_grandma/

So, for context I (19NB) am a college student in the US and I've been having some trouble with my dad's side of the family. My family is small with only me, my mom, dad, grandmothers, and two maternal great uncles. My mom and dad's side of the family do not speak, so the family feels even smaller. My dad, Drew (M57) recently moved to be with his now girlfriend Claire (F65) in Texas last year, and since then I've only visited them once on spring break. While I was there, the situation was not pleasant and I eventually went back to college and have not been back since. This is a story that I won't get into, but it is crucial to the context of the whole situation. My paternal grandmother Andrea (F83), Drew, and Claire always have a zoom call on Thursdays which I sometimes join. This week, I was pressured into talking about my maternal grandmother, Susan (F82). I try to politely decline talking about her a lot of the time because she has been known to be manipulative and narcissistic and sometimes even physical, and she treats me like an employee or a hand servant. Unfortunately, she has put both Drew, Claire, and my grandmother into thinking that she is the victim. She had just had hip surgery and one of my great uncles was taking care of her, but Andrea and Drew thought I wasn't doing enough for her. When I tried to explain why, Andrea started trying to guilt trip me and told me that Susan needs the support and respect because "she won't live forever". The argument escalated further, which led to me snapping out on both of them and hanging up. I apologized the next day, however Drew took the liberty of writing me an email about what a bad kid I am among other things. I wrote him an email back trying to explain my side of the situation, but I was still called selfish and told I don't look at the other side of the situation. When I apologized, they both accepted my apology, but the email was imprompted. My dad said that respect is owed to older people, and I said that respect is earned, and it has left me on read for the past week. I'm very conflicted about this whole situation. On one hand, I want to please Drew and rebuild the relationship that I once had with him, but on the other hand I don't want to feel like I'm being jerked around like a puppet with no free will. I could very much be the ass for blowing up on both of them, but as Drew put it in his email "this has been coming for a long time". In my mind, I was trying to be mature, but maybe that's not the case… AITA? {Edit: I'm sorry for any spelling mistakes or errors in this section, writing was never my strong suit, but I'll try to correct any mistakes that are pointed out. :))

posted by /u/onyx-ghost in /r/AmItheAsshole on January 17, 2023 16:35:40

https://www.reddit.com/r/popheads/comments/10dj7ev/62_overlookedunderrated_pop_songs_from_2022_with/

As is yearly tradition, over the month of December I posted two songs per day in the Daily Discussion threads (one single and one album track (mostly)) that I felt went unnoticed by most people but would potentially be enjoyed, and this is a compilation of those write-ups. There’s a definite pop focus but I picked these tracks with an ear for diversity of sound/artistry so there’s quite a few different things going on here and some picks that might make you roll your eyes, but I think there’s something for everyone! [Here is a link to a Spotify playlist with (most of) the songs.](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/7D3N0YRMKFmuQM2SBu9Fm8?si=af442c8852bb4e5b) #Singles: --- * [**Queen Naija & Big Sean - Hate Our Love**](https://youtu.be/U1a1zxGN2ZQ) Written to evoke the heyday of the Ashanti/Ja Rule style r&b collab, “Hate Our Love” is a silky r&b track about a relationship that stays strong despite the odds. It’s shamelessly romantic but avoids being being cloying thanks to the authenticity of the writing and performances; Queen has such a strong, clear voice that shines on the simple chorus, and Sean’s verses perfectly compliment the story of the song. --- * [**FEMM - Outta The Clouds**](https://youtu.be/iH5132ouuwo) from *Tokyo Ex Machina* A breezy mid-tempo pop/r&b cut by the eternally underrated Jpop duo FEMM, notably produced by favorite Kpop producer Woo Min Lee. The song is about holding on to hope even in hard times and I always appreciate when the sound of a song can really reflect its message: there’s a heaviness to the instrumental and vocals that contrasts nicely with the bouncy melody, and brighter music breaks through on the chorus just like the sun breaks through the clouds in the lyrics. --- * [**Louie Zong & Brian David Gilbert - Breezy Slide**](https://youtu.be/N4eG4_IV3_A) Would it be cheating to describe this song as “breezy?” This is just a cute little song about enjoying a good day with a good friend, and they really managed to capture that carefree energy in the music. Louie Zong crafted a delightful city-pop inspired instrumental and BDG is clearly having a blast on the vocals; it’s just good vibes all around, drenched in liquid sunshine. --- * [**Amber Mark - Bliss**](https://youtu.be/YL97fi1Mhik) (from *Three Dimensions Deep*) “Bliss” is nestled at the end of *Three Dimensions Deep* and it’s something of the climax of the album, the light at the end of the tunnel where she finally finds the peace she’s been searching for through all the other songs, and it really sounds like it. Listen to how Amber’s vocal line traces along the bassline, it’s such a satisfying marriage of sounds that really evokes the bliss she’s singing about. --- * [**Linying - Good Behaviour**](https://youtu.be/YEZ63Q0D1UQ) (from *There Could Be Wreckage Here*) This song is so “soft," everything about it just feels light and pillowy. The music and Linying’s voice are gentle but there’s a sensitive honesty to the lyrics that prevents it from being cloying; she feels good, and it feels good to hear. There’s subtle energy here, it bubbles under the surface but by the end it just sweeps you away! --- * [**nelward x blackwinterwells - verdant green**](https://youtu.be/VLC5vhx45oM) Bouncy, chirping, and at times glitching over itself, “verdant green” is from the *other* school of hyperpop that’s less about dancing in the club and more about sitting alone in your bedroom. The lyrics are very poetic, with the two artists singing about their disillusionment with the world, but their voices are so light and the focus is more on the dream of what the world *should be* so it ends up feeling more charming than depressing. --- * [**Meet Me @ The Altar - Say It To My Face**](https://youtu.be/-px9MYLIhGo) Up and coming pop punk trio Meet Me @ The Altar nip the “industry plant” allegations in the bud by threatening to physically fight anyone who makes the accusation! A spunky tune hearkening back to that ‘00s punk sound built on electric guitars, drums, and heaps of attitude, this leans on the more “pop-punk” side of the group’s sound without sacrificing the attractive energy that their fans love. --- * [**Lady Donli & The Lagos Panic! - Thunderstorm In Surulere**](https://youtu.be/yL8H0eBSUFo) I just love the central image of this song: a woman rushing through the city to get to her man so they can cuddle up under a thunderstorm. The clever usage of percussion even kinda sounds mimics rainfall! It’s a very smooth song but Lady Donli brings a fun energy with her laid back and a little bit sexy delivery, as if she’s dreaming while sitting in the back of the car watching the rain on the window. --- * [**Kelsea Ballerini - If You Go Down I’m Going Down Too**](https://youtu.be/_MGZCzksuOI) (from *SUBJECT TO CHANGE*) What’s so attractive about this song is that it isn’t just catchy, it’s funny too! The melody is simple but the lyrics are packed with silly one-liners about two friends who are so ride or die that they’ll got to prison together because “thirty to life will go quicker with you.” It’s a fun sentiment that really meshes well with the twangy guitars and fiddles of the ‘90s country-pop sound the song is drawing from. --- * [**tv room - Manifest! Manifest!**](https://youtu.be/LOSAOeaHD8c) The barrage of quirky little noises is a lot of fun and provides a plethora of hooks, but the noise is put to good use supporting the positive message of the song. He sings the word “manifest” over and over and over again like the word is some kind of spell that can be used to bring good things into the world and tbh by the end I’m not entirely sure that it isn’t! --- * [**IV Jay - Gemini Rising**](https://youtu.be/w8oYOhNOvT4) As a gemini I am a *little* tired of getting dragged all the time but I like IV Jay’s music so I’ll let it slide. I adore how warm and emotive her voice is and her sound is very current in a good way, especially on this one because the spritely grime(?) beat feels very fresh. Great chill out music. --- * [**Tayla Para - Flowers**](https://youtu.be/M7SYHCh7EDo) “Flowers” is a robust little pop song song that finds one golden hook and milks it for all it’s worth; it was certainly stuck in my head for days after hearing it for the first time! The melody is bold and simple, which is befitting of the straightforward message about demanding the respect that you deserve, and Tayla really sells it. I love how warm and alive her voice feels and you can tell she’s really feeling the song. --- * [**Fancy Hagood feat. Kacey Musgraves - Blue Dream Baby**](https://youtu.be/kai9cigvcwA) A really cute country duet between a rising star and a superstar, this one unfortunately slipped through the cracks so hard that it’s not even on Kacey’s Spotify page! But it really stuck out to me because of how catchy the chorus is, there are like three melodies in there that could have sustained their own song but this one has all of them. It’s groovy but still really chill so it’s easy to listen to. --- * [**Genesis Owusu - GTFO**](https://youtu.be/OlgRyo1bKCw) Genesis Owusu is back with a vengeance! This a dark song about how hard life can be, but Genesis is too strong to let it get him down; he’s always been a commanding presence but he feels especially bold here as his voice booms against the choral backups and thundering drum machines. The overall effect is very cinematic, and hopefully the rest of his upcoming album is just as good. --- * [**Sorn - Sharp Objects**](https://youtu.be/7AYjhG20VBs) CLC disbanding was a sad moment but if I’m being honest, Sorn sounds better on her own. “Sharp Objects” is delightfully edgy and feels almost cyberpunk, like it’s from the soundtrack of a thriller. Her voice is a razor’s edge and every synth hits just like it needs to; fittingly enough, a finely tuned blade of music. --- * [**Draculaura - Here For Life**](https://youtu.be/h_cpUHhuYbA) There were a lot of choices made with this year’s *Monster High* reboot, but I think giving Draculaura a cunty synthpop song was one of the better ones. This could easily be a release from any major Kpop soloist, the lush production is airtight and there’s even a high budget music video with pseudo-vogue inspired choreography! It’s a total serve, and [Cleo’s song](https://youtu.be/ykxLkHu0Eno) was really good too. --- * [**Beardy - Break My Teeth**](https://youtu.be/deekgt6tWyY) The chirpy, colorful production of Beardy’s high energy bedroom pop comes hand in hand with lyrics that really capture what it’s like to be a confused queer youngster, an appeal that’s especially on display here. There’s some clever musical storytelling going on: the verses, where he describes his anxieties and stresses, are almost formless, but when he pushes past those on the chorus everything comes into sharp focus. A hell of a hook too. --- * [***MAX - Gucci Bag***](https://youtu.be/Pp9UZ-L8a3g) This is the peak of Spotify playlist fodder, and I mean that as a high compliment! The shimmery production, Max’s velvety falsetto, the laid back melodies, the length (2:14)… everything seems almost scientifically designed to be as breezy and easy to chill out too as possible, and it works. The perfect haze of music to get lost in for a minute or two. --- * [**kehlani - everything**](https://youtu.be/Pp9UZ-L8a3g) (from *Blue Water Road*) The string arrangement is simply gorgeous, listen to those cascading harp strings, and Kehlani sounds positively effortless in her delivery. The lyrics are very romantic but have a bit of an edge to them as well, I love that she knows how to be soft and hard at the same time. --- * [**iyla - FOH**](https://youtu.be/HpnnRb_qDgk) I’m confused why there isn’t more hype for iyla considering what she brings to the table, but I’m very excited for her upcoming album and every song she dropped this year just increased my hype. This is definitely her strangest song yet, she’s borderline rapping over a jazzy bassline with a lot of weird references and callback moments, but it all comes together into a stylish and undeniably intriguing package. --- * [**Tom Cardy - Big Dumb Idiot**](https://youtu.be/RnFQM0LPHF8) (from *Big Dumb Idiot*) So you’ve probably seen internet funnyman Tom Cardy on various social media platforms with his silly little novelty songs, and they’re very funny! But you know what else they are? Stone cold bangers. The ‘80s disco influenced production on this track is so incredibly tight, especially the robot vocals throughout the song, and there are a lot of creative quirks that both sound good and highlight the humorously relatable lyrics. --- * [**Sondre Lerche feat. CHAI - Summer In Reverse**](https://youtu.be/I5ts5YE6kfg) (from *Avatars Of Love*) Sondre Lerche describes this as a “hangover jam,” which is a weird description that very much works. The song is built around a drum kick that anchors the song in a heavy, plodding place even as the melody lilts around the top line, which does really evoke the feeling of wandering around and wondering what to do next! It’s a cleverly designed piece of indie pop that’s memorable from the moment it begins. --- * [**Toby Fox & Itoki Hana - Skies Forever Blue**](https://youtu.be/njgcjGojRKk) A collab between the composers of *Undertale* and *Omori*… I shouldn’t have to say anything else really. A beautiful love song set inside the world of dying video game cartridge, they manage to perfectly capture the warm sentimentality of old JRPGs and the bittersweet nostalgia they can evoke. A nice blend of organic and digital sounds. --- * [**Frost Children - LAKE OF LOVE**](https://youtu.be/Ow8M72VoUME) (from *SPIRAL*) One of my favorite songs of the year on a sheer sonic level– it starts off as a (maybe a little bit distorted) dance pop song with a nice beat but then everything just builds and builds until it’s a flood of noise, but rather than being overwhelming it’s almost soothing. There’s a strange tenderness to the chaos, as if it’s full of the love for the world the lyrics describe. It feels like a safe place to be suspended. --- * [**Tia Kofi & Priyanka - My Only Wish**](https://youtu.be/_dGddA9mjQI) As blasphemous as it sounds I enjoy this cover more than Britney’s original because they turned it into an ‘80s synthpop track, which really suits the vibe. The increased tempo gives the song a bit more of a sense of urgency and somehow makes an already catchy song even catchier. --- * [**POWDERPAINT - The Way You Want**](https://youtu.be/wynjpMVsEbw) Charity Rate icons POWDERPAINT return not only with new music, but their first music video! The lyrics of this song are about the hypocrisy of bigots who claim to be pro-human while smearing queer people, and the group’s delivery as they ironically play into the villain role they’ve been assigned is delicious. Another strong showing of that fiery synthpop (with an underground edge) that made their first EP so magnetic. --- * [**Priya Ragu - Illuminous**](https://youtu.be/Kkf4BIxZkuo) Really, Priya Ragu wins this song in the first twenty seconds when she drops an airtight verse where the punchline is her dropping the title of her album– then the rest is just a sweet, sweet victory lap. Then it somehow manages to peak again once those horns come in! Her and her brother are really in their own lane with their South Asian inspired pop-rap, and they always deliver. --- * [**Alex Newell - Attitude**](https://youtu.be/OJOXGPFDQ7s) One of my favorite voices in pop, with those huge pipes I’d listen to Alex Newell sing basically anything. “Attitude” is a flirty little pop tune that leans into Alex’s theatrical vocals, and I love the way that the punchy brass really emphasizes the brassiness of his voice. --- * [**Chappell Roan - Naked In Manhattan**](https://youtu.be/nXZuv1T8bfg) Everything Chappell put out in 2022 was solid gold, though for me nothing topped her first release of the year. A robust indie-pop banger built around a bouncy riff and some euphoric synths, “Naked In Manhattan” is just an embarrassment of riches; there are so many great melodies and lyrics that would be the high point of another song and this one has *all of them*. --- * [**Jessie Ware - Free Yourself**](https://youtu.be/aD7F6M9fsms) Idk if this was really overlooked but it certainly slipped my mind, so if you’re like me and forgot that Jessie Ware released one of the hottest bangers of the year, take a few minutes to reacquaint yourself. Such an invigorating, bombastically huge dance pop song- I swear, confetti cannons explode every time that chorus hits. --- [**Steps - Platinum Megamix**](https://youtu.be/iUBwKHtgyGM) (from *Platinum Collection*) Okay so this is DEFINITELY cheating because it’s just a medley of their greatest hits but seven straight minutes of the best parts of twenty five years worth of pop perfection felt like the best way to end 2022. It’s an ebullient celebration of some of the brightest pop songs ever released; dance, smile, and remember that if Steps can somehow make it then you can too. --- #Deep Cuts: --- * [**Meghan Trainor - Rainbow**](https://youtu.be/A3H1uvRUXX8) (from *Takin’ It Back*) Meghan Trainor is kind of famous for her empowerment anthems, and this latest one is gay coded! She’s back to using her iconic doo-wop sound but this is actually on the more subdued side for her– which winds up being a strength. She comes across as sweet, sentimental, and most of all *sincere*. --- * [**Yuna - Kiss The Moon**](https://youtu.be/3zHhuxFFcxM) (from *Y5*) The always lovely Yuna came through with another soulful r&b record, it’s a smooth and buttery listen but this was one of the tastiest songs from the release. The acoustic guitar moment is a nice change of pace and the wistful, melancholy tone is perfect for indulging in a quiet moment. --- * [**Louie Zong - evolution of the eye**](https://youtu.be/aEjqhABIUrE?t=660) (from *Cartoon Funk*) Literally nobody on the planet has as big of a galaxy brain as Louie Zong, who else was going to make the very concept of evolution romantic like this? The passionate ode of a little lovestruck creature that just crawled out of the ocean, condensed into an adorable bite sized pop song with some funky production. --- * [**Isaac Dunbar - Sunburn**](https://youtu.be/KnjqX5F-XZ4) (from *Banish The Banshee*) What I like about Isaac Dunbar is that he’s not afraid to get a little bit weird on his songs, and he’s got the chops to back it up. “Sunburn” feels practically elastic as it ricochets around– funky but with a touch of the B-52s, it’s on the right side of chaotic. --- * [**kendall :3 - heartbeat**](https://youtu.be/YxOU8wByFns) (from *sweat*) The thing about low-budget DIY indie art is that the aesthetic naturally lends itself to emotional intimacy- case in point with this song. Described by the artist as “a fable about a human trying to be something more,” it’s an intriguing little track with sparse production and twisted lyrics that conveys a lot of (appropriately enough) heart and a strange sense of *sweetness*. --- * [**MIN - PHẢI LÒNG ANH**](https://youtu.be/3A3MbMoEE9Q) (from *50/50*) I’m convinced that if a popheads fave pop girl dropped this it would be a fan fave because it’s exactly the type of *Emotion*-esque huge pop about almost-love that this crowd eats up. Cavernous synths pound as MIN belts her heart out with yearning– and yes, the lyrics are in Vietnamese, but there are some well placed English hooks that will definitely jump out at you… what are you hiding behind your blue eyes? --- * [**RuPaul - Pretty Gang**](https://youtu.be/vmRaa_mBGko) (from *MAMARU*) At some point RuPaul became a pretty good rapper and he swaggers his way through this track dropping silly one-liners left and right, it’s the perfect combination of camp and genuine bad bitch energy. And the spoken word bridge/outro? She understood the assignment. --- * [**AleXa - Endorphin**](https://youtu.be/Wfs7OmC2CS4) (from *Girls Gone Vogue*) After conquering American Song Contest, AleXa returned to her Kpop roots with another mini album where (as is customary) the best song was a B-side! “Endorphin” leans into more of a cute concept vibe but the production is muscular and still has a hint of her trademark toughness. It’s a real toe-tapper. --- * [**Olivia O’Brien - Gone Girl**](https://youtu.be/o4UlOPVd2xM) (from *A Means To An End*) A “I’m a sad zillennial” type of song but you know what? When it hits, it hits. “Gone Girl” is about the fantasy of abandoning everyone and everything in your life and just disappearing, a tempting prospect that Olivia makes even ore appealing with some great production. I love the way the music just explodes behind her on the word “gone” at the start of the chorus, it’s propulsive ear candy. --- * [**Sarah Michele - Gutsy Girl In Tights**](https://youtu.be/6uy8fNn1Vbs) (from *Incognita’s Infamous Adventures*) Cheating a lot with this one because it’s not strictly a pop song and it dropped last year BUT the show it’s from only dropped this year so I’m counting it. [*Incognita’s Infamous Adventures*](https://youtu.be/IJ9cXCxhqb8) was a musical web series about a superhero who finds out her cute coworker is actually her evil arch nemesis, not really a groundbreaking story but it was cute and the soundtrack was a lot of fun! This is the show’s “theme song,” an upbeat little pop tune about the titular heroine, and the sheer level of earnestness is quite endearing. --- * [**Ingrid Andress - Things That Haven’t Happened Yet**](https://youtu.be/sawjXkr4Xp4) (from *Good Person*) This is a gentle piano ballad, and a pretty low-key one at that, but it instantly connected with me because of the lyrics– I fall exactly into the trap she describes here by letting myself get overwhelmed with visions of all the bad things that could happen. But it’s ultimately a song about coping with anxiety and the soothing chorus, which almost sounds like a lullaby, is a perfect reminder of what to do when everything seems like too much. --- * [**Alaska Thunderfuck - More Than Enough (2 Me)**](https://youtu.be/-OXaBlqlyD8) (from *Red 4 Filth*) This is something of a throwback to ‘00s girl groups not just because of that plastic bubblegum sound, but because it’s about the power of friendship! Alaska really understands that our friends are some of the most important people in our lives and she captures that here, it’s just such a warm and sentimental song that even *sounds* friendly. --- * [**Dylan Kanner - for you**](https://youtu.be/3filRUblNr8) (from *Barber Westchester OST*) [*Barber Westchester*](https://youtu.be/xf46FELFk2g) is an independent animated dramedy about a kid who gets their dream job working at NASA only to learn a terrifying secret… >!space is fake.!< While not exactly a musical, Dylan Kanner’s score is very much at the core of the film and his songs add a lot of punch to emotional moments– “for you” underscores a powerful climax, and it’s still a very pretty song even out of context. The lyrics are soft, sweet, and a little bit scared, and Dylan delivers it with touching intimacy. --- * [**Epoch feat. Fiona Lynch - About That**](https://youtu.be/6bb5otZPz5s) (from *About That… Paradise Killer B-Sides*) One of the many things that made *Paradise Killer* such a surprise hit back in 2020 was its incredible soundtrack, so of course this year’s DLC had to come packaged with some hot tunes as well! This song is just oozing in style, the huge synth call to mind excitement and adventure and the lyrics are *just* the right kind of pretty nonsense that cruise in one ear and out the other with a neon slipstream in their wake. **ABOUT THAT!** --- * [**Tia P. - Fortune**](https://youtu.be/Dh6p2twrDrY) Wake up babe, new *Black Lady Sketch Show* theme song dropped– and once again, it’s a banger! This is what I call “super villain rap,” that specific type of song where a rapper snarls about how rich and powerful they are over a vaguely threatening beat, and it always gets me hype. Tia P. sounds particularly ferocious, and her breathless delivery of the chorus is a highlight. --- * [**Raveena - Endless Summer**](https://youtu.be/fuCOxD7HIrc) (from *Asha’s Awakening*) There were a lot of good songs on this album, definitely one that I recommend listening to all the way through, but this one was my favorite. Despite the title the song feels like the *end* of summer; a cool, soft fade into twilight. The beautiful south Asian inspired string arrangement is a highlight on the album and the way Raveena croons the poetic lyrics from her heart melts me every time. --- * [**Tank and the Bangas - Jellyfish**](https://youtu.be/qsbnXkXkFMUI) (from *Red Balloon*) One of my favorite songs of the year! This is Tank and the Bangas at their most whimsical, a love story about a jellyfish that somehow also feels like a warm hug. Their funky neo-soul stylings become a gentle ocean of music that’s so comforting to drift in, soaking up the sun and drinking in the vibes. --- * [**mxmtoon - dizzy**](https://youtu.be/9yGuDfM1huI) (from *Rising*) mxmtoon is one of my favorite Gen Z artists: she’s got a beautiful voice, a delightful indie-pop sound, and most of all she just knows how to write a song that connects with the heart. “Dizzy” is a wistful ode to growing up too fast and while it specifically mentions turning 21, I think the message of feeling uncertain about where you’re at in your life is universal (I certainly relate to it) and it’s a pretty song regardless. --- * [**LVCRFT - Animatronic**](https://youtu.be/v7-T6ihiXMc) (from *Scream Warriors*) This song captures the dirty energy of horror soundtracks and applies it to an electronic pop song, drawing inspiration specifically from ‘80s films and synth wave. This is another one with an incredibly catchy chorus, energetic and full of appropriately “spooky” words that sit just right on the ears. --- * [**Rainbow High - School Across The Street**](https://youtu.be/jeUP5bHuVdM) (from *Rainbowvision*) #WHO ARE THE KIDS FROM THE SCHOOL ACROSS THE STREET? TELL ME WHOOOOOOOOO ^(YEAH ^TELL ^ME ^WHO) TELL ME WHOOOOOOOOO ^(YEAH ^TELL ^ME ^WHO ^WHO) If you can get over the fact that it's the soundtrack for a web series about a fake Eurovision contest created to promote fashion dolls, *Rainbowvision* is one of the best pop albums of the year. Every song is a gem but “School Across The Street” in particular stands out for being a deliciously fun villain song! The “edgy” Shadow High taunt the bougie Rainbow High students and they kinda make a point: the beat goes so hard, every single line is catchy, they literally stop the song to do a photoshoot… no wonder everyone wants to be like them. --- * [**Sebastián Yatra - Fuimos Amor**](https://youtu.be/Etq0SPYelLs) (from *Érase una vez… pero ya no*) It seems like no one watched *Érase una vez… pero ya no* on Netflix except for me and my friend but we really recommend it, it’s campy, pretty to look at, and had a great jukebox soundtrack. This is a cover of [an Esteman song](https://youtu.be/-X3Awv2jgTs) but it’s given a more “fantasy” vibe to fit the aesthetic of the show that takes the song to another level; adding violins and choral vocals just makes any song instantly feel more epic! I wish it weren’t so short though. --- * [**PiXXiE - Boo**](https://youtu.be/Etq0SPYelLs) (from *BLOOM*) A teen crush Tpop girl group song in a little sub-genre I like to call “brat-pop,” you kinda have to watch this one with subtitles to understand the full appeal because the way the lyrics interact with the music is quite clever! The girls shift between sweet talking, menacing, and full on throwing a tantrum, and each mood kinda gets its own sound within the song so the music flows between music box sounds, methodical strings, harsh electric guitar, synthy drops… it's a lot, but it works! --- * [**Kaina - It Was A Home**](https://youtu.be/jSK5fJpqs5I) (from *It Was A Home*) Every song on this album is so pretty, Kaina’s soulful sound always hits the spot, but this song in particular sticks out to me because it evokes such nostalgia. The lyrics are very simple but they’re sweetly sung and paint a lovely picture of, well, a home! But a home filled with love that drifts through the air like twinkly guitars and pads along the floor like the gentle percussion. --- * [**Shaina Taub - Should I Have A Kid?**](https://youtu.be/wdozSyObeW8) (from *Songs of the Great Hill*) Shaina Taub is one of my absolute favorite artists and she came back this year with an album of smartly written singer-songwriter tunes that explore how she feels about the world right now, and nothing was off-limits apparently. I don’t think I’ve ever heard a song about this topic before but listening her wrestling with such an important decision so candidly (just her and the piano) is very compelling. --- * [**Scooby Doo - Change**](https://youtu.be/JVpXYo2XE2g) (from *Trick or Treat, Scooby Doo!*) This song is from the newest Scooby Doo film (yes, the lesbian Velma one) and it legitimately sounds like it was lifted from the ‘80s new wave synth-pop movement; I just know Depeche Mode’s wig slipped a little when they heard those deep vocals. A short track that’s a major ear worm. --- * [**Ella Mai (feat. Kirk Franklin) - Fallen Angel**](https://youtu.be/1vWjF6_78j4) (from *Heart On My Sleeve*) "Fallen Angel" was one of my favorites on this album, the hip-hop sample makes it pop and I love the story about finding a love so unexpected it must be supernatural. The cherry on top of the track is the surprise Kirk Franklin feature at the end, a fiery sermon with a gospel fire that always gets me really hyped (and is a cool transition into the next track). --- * [**Left At London - I’m Not Laughing Anymore**](https://youtu.be/E_eXUMmeYEA) (from *Transgender Street Legend Vol. 3*) A dark little track that’s half blues, half stand up comedy. Left At London spins a slightly depressing yarn about a man who sees his therapist in a bar, with both characters getting to sing one verse/chorus, and despite the story’s bleak nature it’s presented with… well not quite *humor*, but a sense of good natured camaraderie. Everyone’s going through it, everything’s stupid, nothing matters. Cue the laugh track. --- * [**Hoàng Thùy Linh - Lúc Thấy Lúc Không (See Saw Seen)**](https://youtu.be/E_eXUMmeYEA) (from *LINK*) A huge synthpop track from one of Vietnam’s premier pop divas, this track is a veritable kaleidoscope of colors and textures; between the breezy chorus, rapid fire verses, and unexpected bridge, there’s no shortage of ear candy here! The cheerfully upbeat sound disguises the wistfulness of lyrics, which see Hoàng reminiscing over a relationship she feels is about to fall apart. Just one of many bangers on this album btw! --- * [**iLe & Flor de Toloache - A la deriva**](https://youtu.be/OyavEn-lULI) (from *Nacarile*) One review I read for this album described this song as sounding like “a UFO abduction” and I’m stealing that because that’s totally the vibe here, listen to those synths! iLe and Flor de Toloache croon about searching for understanding in dreams and their vocals are haunting, they just drift through the soundscape like they’re lost in space. A cinematic album opener to one of the year’s most overlooked gems. --- * [**Mo Heart - Come See About Me**](https://youtu.be/SbKLz-qnzZw) (from *Redemption*) A beautiful soul song with some christian/gospel influences, it’s weird because it’s kind of ambiguous whether she’s singing about a man or about God, but the language used is beautiful so she paints a pretty picture either way. I just love the production, it’s like a gently rocking ocean (even when the song gets louder it’s still pleasant) and it cradles Mo’s sparkling voice perfectly. --- * [**Carrie Underwood - Poor Everybody Else**](https://youtu.be/JqbxQew-oU8) (from *Denim & Rhinestones*) Some of Carrie Underwood’s most beloved songs are the ones about women fucking shit up, and “Poor Everybody Else” is another entry in that illustrious list of tunes. Dipping into her more rock influenced side, the track features a wall of wailing electric guitars and clashing drums that set the perfect backdrop for Carrie to belt her heart out (with a growl in her voice) as she sings the story of a woman who tears the room apart as soon as she walks in. --- Also here are the lists I made for [2021](https://www.reddit.com/r/popheads/comments/s1jajf/62_overlookedunderrated_pop_songs_from_2021_with/), [2020](https://www.reddit.com/r/popheads/comments/kr5pvl/63_overlookedunderrated_pop_songs_from_2020_with/), and [2019](https://www.reddit.com/r/popheads/comments/ezwleh/57_overlookedunderrated_pop_songs_from_2019_with/). Thanks!

posted by /u/Ghost-Quartet in /r/popheads on January 16, 2023 11:40:00

https://www.reddit.com/r/StableDiffusion/comments/10cpf0r/automatic1111_modelvaeembeddings_downloader_in/

Hey everyone. In order to use Stable Diffusion, I'm usually using a cloud GPU rented on [Runpod.io](https://Runpod.io). However, as you may know, Runpod charges you while your pod remains active and when it's not, as long as it's deployed, you'll be charged for storage. Moreover, it can be a bit intimidating for beginners to download their own models with commands on a Jupyter lab. From this point of view, I decided to learn a bit of Python and try to develop my own downloader to allow anyone to be able to download and install models, VAE and embeddings directly in the right folder. The only thing that would be left to you is using your freshly downloaded files in Automatic1111's webUI. :) Just note that the program is working on both macOS (with a previously installed version of Automatic1111) and [Runpod.io](https://Runpod.io). I didn't have the possibility to adapt it to Windows systems as I don't own one at home. So here's how it works with [Runpod.io](https://Runpod.io) for the beginners amongst you (if you don't use Runpod and only are curious to see how to use the program, you can also read this tutorial to discover it) : &#x200B; 1. Once your pod is deployed with an Automatic1111 template, click "CONNECT" and launch your Jupyter lab. [Click \\"CONNECT\\"](https://preview.redd.it/vv39gdvll8ca1.png?width=2130&format=png&auto=webp&v=enabled&s=aef88cba1129621177766eb9b37cc0059e319f51) &#x200B; [Launch your Jupyter Lab](https://preview.redd.it/c64tqeesl8ca1.png?width=1184&format=png&auto=webp&v=enabled&s=79225306f00dd8bd4f8a13f8f5ec398133db9c90) 2. Once it's connected, please launch the inbuilt Python Terminal which will allow you to use the downloader. https://preview.redd.it/4o042id7m8ca1.png?width=2874&format=png&auto=webp&v=enabled&s=56690beee3d9e700aae4f84dd75fa4f84d96ebae 3. Then, [find the downloader's code here](https://huggingface.co/datasets/Neburozakusu/sddownloader/blob/main/Runpod%20SD%20dl.py), copy the code and paste it in your pod's Python console. https://preview.redd.it/wbpwkjdxm8ca1.png?width=2236&format=png&auto=webp&v=enabled&s=f0b2a01a01390e0c671c6e894764fb884e753eeb 4. Press Shift+Enter on your keyboard to launch the program. The main menu should appear : &#x200B; https://preview.redd.it/5bwft5b8n8ca1.png?width=2130&format=png&auto=webp&v=enabled&s=080a772df6e76efc464d8110f95e8fe706eb8dd6 5. Select what you want to do by typing the corresponding numerical identifier (for instance, 1 for downloading models) just under "Your selection:", in the input field. If you want to exit the program, just type 4. &#x200B; https://preview.redd.it/mgms9055o8ca1.png?width=2218&format=png&auto=webp&v=enabled&s=353bf09b3b2968f62b2d8811acacdbc3da2358d9 6. The corresponding menu should appear. For example here, I chose the "download models" menu and a selection of models is suggested to me. Just as before, I can choose the one I want to download and install with the corresponding numerical identifier. If I want to download multiple files, I can separate the models' ID with a forward slash. For instance, "1/2/4". Finally, if I want to download the whole selection (just make sure you have enough storage space on your pod), I can type "all", as mentioned in the instructions at the bottom of the console. &#x200B; https://preview.redd.it/fyz4sl7po8ca1.png?width=2248&format=png&auto=webp&v=enabled&s=3f80af044f0e54f84773b63e9ffd891828a9bcfe 7. Just wait for the files to download and install themselves. If the file or the download isn't available anymore, a red message will tell you so, do not worry. :) &#x200B; https://preview.redd.it/g6b8alynp8ca1.png?width=1356&format=png&auto=webp&v=enabled&s=3fe0ebbb0b774834d7668737a984c3d94e68eb4d 8. Once the installation is done, you'll get back to the main menu. You'll be able to choose other files to install if you wish (VAE or embeddings). Once you're done, just type 4 to exit the program. Close your Jupyter Lab tab and return to your pod. Click "CONNECT" again and "Connect with HTTP" to launch Automatic1111's webUI. https://preview.redd.it/52hnr296q8ca1.png?width=1180&format=png&auto=webp&v=enabled&s=d547b545e7926b2d64e0e48fb607e0111af64d98 9. Check the installed models by actualizing the models list on the upper left hand corner of the webUI : &#x200B; https://preview.redd.it/z0m2i1pjq8ca1.png?width=1036&format=png&auto=webp&v=enabled&s=0052dd67994fb20d777d35f464810eb300429389 10. To check your installed VAEs, go to Settings, click Show All Pages on the left, and scroll down the page until you find the VAE section. Actualize it with the same icon than with the models. &#x200B; https://preview.redd.it/jrdcai51r8ca1.png?width=2832&format=png&auto=webp&v=enabled&s=48257785a5abad1ad3709bc6258dd59aba5e64aa &#x200B; https://preview.redd.it/biyrh034r8ca1.png?width=852&format=png&auto=webp&v=enabled&s=64b5bb8d37c79a96ff07b58cf2fac57670478c27 &#x200B; https://preview.redd.it/7pnzmgw9r8ca1.png?width=2430&format=png&auto=webp&v=enabled&s=71b5cb473282973f24edae9cbd5ea12edc1b7ca7 And there you go, ready to use your Automatic1111 webUI ! Of course, you're able to change the models selection if you want to and know how to do it by modifying the models dictionary in the Python code. But I wouldn't recommend it for beginners, though. Just keep in mind that I'm not a programmer, just an amateur trying to simplify this kind of repetitive tasks normally using Python/terminal commands not necesserarily very newbie-friendly. The code probably needs a lot of optimization but there you go, if you need it, feel free to use it and report any bug you could find. I didn't test it in every way possible so any feedback is appreciated. Feel free to share it but don't forget to mention me. :D Enjoy.

posted by /u/ghost-hardware017 in /r/StableDiffusion on January 15, 2023 12:27:59

https://www.reddit.com/r/HatsuVault/comments/10cakxf/wanted_nekomata/

(This is a reimagining of a mythical creature if it existed in the Hunter x Hunter world) **Subject Name:** Nekomata **Classification:** Sentient Nen beast **Status:** Active, currently feral **Location:** Variable, seems to prefer Japan **Appearance:** A large white cat with three tails. Its fur gradually changes to a dark pinkish-red on its tail, face, and feet. Its tails are tipped with a pale fire, and its paws emanate smoke. **Description:** A nen beast created hundreds of years ago, when the pet cat of a woman died. She so loved her pet that she subconsciously created a replica of it out of nen to keep her company in her old age. However, her devotion to her pet was so great that it endured even after her passing. This proved problematic because to maintain its existence the cat would feed on the aura of others to sustain itself. This not only prolonged its life, but also enhanced the cat itself and granted it some of the abilities of its victims. As cats are one of the few species that will hunt for sport, this quickly proved problematic when the feline used its new powers to kill countless people. But despite this, there are many periods of time where Nekomata's killing spree will vanish, usually for around 10-50 years. It can be assumed that during this time, someone, somehow, has taken this cat into their care and given it a supply of aura to feed on in order to tame it. This was proven in 1864 when a young boy was found in possession of the feline. This boy was a prodigious but unconscious user of nen, which allowed him to satiate the Nekomata and prevent it from killing. He would cup his hands together and focus on the center of his palms, unknonwingly gathering nen in his hands which the cat would consume. It was highly intelligent and could speak in multiple languages, and seemed to possess in-depth knowledge of many things. Attempts were made to discern its combat abilities, but this proved difficult as the Nekomata was highly protective of the child and further research was suspended. **Abilities and Powers:** As this nen beast was created subconsciously, the exact specifications and conditions of its abilities are unclear. It seems to be able to take some of the abilities of its targets, but this is limited to human talents, such as speech. It can be assumed that, if not able to regularly consume nen, the cat will cease to exist. The Nekomata is capable of increasing its size to that of a large horse, and traveling at extraordinary speeds. Its tails can fling a pale flame that causes hallucinations to those it touches (Note: this fire does not burn) that last for a few minutes to hours depending on exposure time and amount. This is deadly in combination with its claws and teeth. The Nekomata currently has no master, and was last seen in northern Japan on a remote island. The current bounty for capture of this beast is $10,000,000.

posted by /u/Ghost-in-the-Attic in /r/HatsuVault on January 14, 2023 23:34:04

https://www.reddit.com/r/BreakUps/comments/10c5129/need_help_with_figuring_out_if_i_need_to_leave/

*This will prolly be long my apologies* Me (21F) and my ex gf(22) have been dating for almost 4 years. everything in the beginning was fun and good, we were in love. (i have not lived on my own before idk if this needs to be added, i moved out at 17 and we moved in together) we used to go on trips together and everything was good. My ex, had told me she was trans, and i accepted her for it helped her with getting on T, and supported her the entire time. then she decided she’s not trans and gets off T and again i’m still accepting and supporting, and then a couple months later decides she’s trans again and goes on T and then finally decided she’s not trans for the last time. it was a lot to go through, but i was supportive the entire time. i guess this is where things started having problems bc i am a lesbian and i don’t want to be with a man. but i loved her so i pushed through. so we’ve been on and off since that point arguing a lot. and i will admit i did cheat, but we worked past that and we have been good for the most part. this was about two years ago. so recently she’s been going out to bars with her best friend more, i have no problem with her going to the bar all i ask is that she checked in with me. not that i don’t trust her i just worry she’s gonna get hurt or get in a wreck or something. but i continuously tell her this and she doesn’t do it. i have cried to her time and time again but then she comes back with you know i’m not a phone person and it’s so hard for me to pick up the phone and text people. yet she does it for other people but not me. so the last time she went out she texted me once to say she got to to the bar but then doesn’t text me for five hours so i go off about that and then she decided she going to her best friends house. the next day she breaks up with me talking about how she needs space and i was understandable. we still live together so we agreed we were going to better ourselves and try to make it work again. so we do that and then we talk again and we’re like okay we are still going to be committed to healing ourselves and to each other. which to me sounds like don’t talk to other people until we make our decision. and i joke around and i’m like i’m gunna download tinder bc i just need the confidence boost (i never downloaded it) a couple days ago she tells me that she downloaded tinder and added this girl on snapchat. i asked her to delete it and she said no bc she wants to meet new people and it makes me think like what’s the point in trying when you’re going to talk to other people she even told me that she likes talking to the girl she added on snapchat and i don’t know what to do. Advice? TIA

posted by /u/ghost-adventures23 in /r/BreakUps on January 14, 2023 19:09:39

https://www.reddit.com/r/emetophobia/comments/10c2zct/sharing_something_thats_helped_me/

I have had emetophobia for almost as long as I’ve been alive, and recently it has gotten a lot worse. I started going through through exposure therapy a couple of months ago, but my therapist pushed me too hard, too fast, and I backslid HARD. I am now seeing a psychiatrist and a new therapist, but for the time being I’ve been suffering from constant panic attacks and anxiety. When I feel anxious like that, it’s like a total loss of control, and I don’t feel like I can trust my body or my mind. I try to calm down, but instead my thoughts spiral out of control until I’m not sure if I’m actually n* or if it’s just from the panic. So, I started a project. I’ve started compiling little “toolkits” that I can use when I start feeling that way. The one I use the most is actually just in my Notes app, and it’s a list of reasons why I’m going to be okay. Some of them are: - I washed my hands a lot today, and I am always careful to avoid touching my mouth. - SBs are more common in places like hospitals, nursing homes, and daycares. I work in an office, away from the public, and no one touches my things but me. - I can trust my body to tell me when something is wrong. It’s not likely that I’ll be “caught by surprise.” When I’m so panicky that I can’t even think straight, I’ve found that it’s really helpful to have these to read over. I’ve also made a relaxing playlist to listen to when I’m anxious, and a special album on my phone full of photos and videos that make me feel calm — good times with my family, my dog when he was a puppy, pretty sunsets, the ocean, art that I’ve made that I’m proud of, etc. I don’t know if this approach works for everyone, but I feel a lot more prepared to tackle the day knowing that I have some ready-made “good stuff” I can turn to as soon as I start freaking out a little.

posted by /u/little-blue-ghost in /r/emetophobia on January 14, 2023 17:44:14

https://v.redd.it/mdll3x8ovwba1

posted by /u/ghost-reali in /r/suit_club on January 13, 2023 20:26:13