Reddit User Account Overview

The balloon is a critical thinking test and ya’ll are failing.

Then you haven’t been paying attention

Extra few seconds of latency randomly on an electronic device. Same for buffering for streaming

You know the rules …

But definitely upsetting

Eat like a king who's on a budget Three tasty options: fries, drinks and nuggets All for five bucks (Wait, that can't be right?) Just confirmed that that's the real price Two full meals, $5.95 each Whopper, royal crispy, two fries, two drinks Double em' up or mix and match Whatever you want We're into that

Dobbie deserved to die.

I’d check for stroke symptoms. Wtf does that mean?

It’s the host. Marty Solomon. The downside is he doesn’t have an advanced degree. The upside is his work in the podcast is not original. He grabs from many sources. (And cites where possible in show notes)

Numerology. The first story focused on Jewish numbers and feeding them. The second was in a gentile context/location. So those number have a gentile bent. More (and better) details in these 2 podcasts episodes. https://www.bemadiscipleship.com/115 https://www.bemadiscipleship.com/118

Then comes x 2.0. That fixes all the issues but has zero backwards compatibility

Excellent follow up

The Good Place

Burns: What do you think Smithers? Smithers: I think women and seamen don't mix. Burns: We know what you think.

Costco? I’ve never seen them advertise

A shock collar for the driver to coerce them to not do something which puts them in a police chase.

Obtain lawyers

All of the early Conan Obrian episodes

You should only wipe post poop while sitting down. Not standing up.

Only half of all people are above average.

Look at Mr fancy I can afford food there.

Asking this sounds like a red flag

Elon Musk lost 200 billion in a year. That’s a nice start.

Flap your arms real fast

It’s the sequel to Ben Hurr. The plot is they burn all the chariots after the chariot race.

See John Walton’s lost world series. He covers the creation stories as well as the Adam and Eve stories and contrasts them to many of the creation stories of the Babylonians, Egyptians, and others in the area. When reading the Genesis accounts in contrast to those stories, the theology which the ancient Jewish authors has a more interesting impact.

Near death experiences

The original works of Papias of Hierapolis would be a nice contribution to the Gospel origins. What is know and quotes of his work only comes from later authors.

Dolphins enjoy playing in the wake the boat leaves. This looks to be what they are doing here too.

And Roo goes for the high flying drop kick in kang. And the crowd goes nuts!

Every officer gonna laugh and not pull him over to avoid the extra paperwork

The test took 18 minutes. Way too long and timed out. The time optimized testing cycle allows a faster build cadence.

You have spare bedrooms and multiple bathrooms?

Your mom knows.

I like the insult jokes where someone gets burnt.

Second car

Laughs in New Jersey

36 year olds calling misogynically to a 19 year from Twitter. Then posting a video come back with a pizza box.

I was smarter than the smart girls and then I bent my wookie.

Genghis Khan

The Olsen twins

Pipe

I can buy Twitter and fix it from the current owner.

Shrek

Wrong! It’ll end at midnight on December 31

Accidentally buried alive in a cemetery

τ

Release all the Epstein files and videos

Possibly the Segway. It was so overhyped prior to announcement that when announced, it was a huge letdown.

Death by Cheesecake Factory.

There is unstable and really_unstable

I don’t have time for this.

How much could a cookie cost? Ten dollars?

Life meat. Meat you didn’t need to kill to get.

find / -type f -delete

Banana. Tasty and very portable

Qatar?

With the lights out, it's less dangerous Here we are now, entertain us I feel stupid and contagious

My cat's breath smells like cat food

Backyard farms

Cake, Cake, Cake, Cake, Cake

Plotu

Lancaster PA?

Don’t. 100% guaranteed to not lose.

Letting the south win the post civil war reconstruction. Which gave us the KKK, Jim Crow laws, red lining, and other systemic issues.

This is most likely the reason.

I’d advise JFK to not ride in the convertible

I’m waiting for the court injunction to expire from my last relationship

Hosted in the cloud.

Why brand them? They don’t need a marking to signify they are ugly.

New balance shoes.

No timeframe .. but heavily invest in 1) literacy: especially pre-k and libraries 2) basic social needs such as food and shelter. These are essential for a good education

The standard beep beep is perfect. Why ruin a song?

Chad, Karen, and Susan.

Can’t sleep, clown will eat me.

Can someone add a bot to this subreddit which is powered by Open AI to discover screen shots of OpenAI?

Carefully get out of bed and not step on the George Foreman grill cooking bacon.

Donner

That’s part of Amazon prime. It’s shocking what services are thrown in there. And for students, it’s discounted. /s

Princess Bride

Alternatively, why not love him?

Every Hallmark channel Christmas movie

Yup. She needs to learn FAFO.

Learn how to keep assholes away with this one simple trick!

Ole musky being his crazy self again

It will be an odd year

File a compliant to pa www.pda.pa.gov/FoodSafetyComplaint/

No one comes to God except through me takes a different tone

Don't go breaking my butt I couldn't if I tried Honey if I get restless Baby you're not that kind

Pick a different house.

give me fever like I've never ever known … My lonely days are gone

Final score in the original space jam: 78-77

Just what a one handed chicken choker would say.

Fred

Avatar has entered the chat

woof woof woof woof woof woof Bark bark Wimper woof woof woof

They are complex because they need to handle all use cases. If you simplify the language too much, you leave ambiguity to a judge or jury.

WGAL reports 2 breaks ... https://www.wgal.com/article/two-water-main-breaks-cause-problems-in-lancaster-county-pennsylvania/42085354

Always have a plastic bucket handy for such a situation. Bucket for face

Use the George Forman kid naming approach and name them all George

I ain’t the sharpest tool in the shed. It describes me so perfectly

As long as they don’t mess with the space lasers to muck up the chemtrails… I say live and let live.

Ahh. Didn’t realize they weren’t free anymore.

Explain it like I’m 5

Eli5

You can take a lower rate when you don’t have to absorb the down time looking for other clients and costs involved there. That’s why hourly contractors get a higher rate than employees.

? I thought these ideas would’ve reduced voter fraud and covid misinformation

They closed many of their stores… And for me the one that was close by.

So still technically in-transit.

Unless you are actively still giving Tesla money for some type of subscription or support, it’s wasteful to do anything.

Doubled down on fact check warnings on tweets Limit amplification of misinformation as well as users.

I thought this was /r/meinrl

Both wrong: comment belongs before the if to explain the block

When you get burnt out from working hard to push a deliverable. But then the next project kicks off.

Their groin is on fire.

Dr Oz

10 years older than me

Sustainable Fusion graphene batteries

Just kick him in the bone spurs.

Promising. But capitalism will ruin it by adding stuff to make it addictive as well as more cancerous

Golden retrievers would swear like Ned Flanders.

Christian Nationalists

Bubble wrap

All of them. Everyone will eventually die.

Carly Fiorina. Left HP worse off

And the shower head type. As well as the temperature

Fast and furious But in the 1700’s on bicycles.

California Texas New York Florida

Be insanely rich. Then good is defined by what you do.

Blockbuster. Sears. Circuit city KB Toys

When you are around people, pay more attention to them instead of your phone.

I’m a dude and this one time, I got a cold.

Quantum blockchain is dated Web 3.0. Force sensitive powered by midichlorians is the new web 5.0. Where did web 4 go? Lost to the dark side.

Costco?

NTA.

That Word! I do not think it means what you think it means you cunt

Limbo

Scott

The Jeremy Bearimy

Nothing. Stomach is still recovering

Mining Bitcoin over 10 years ago when it would’ve been easy

Cranberry anything

Reputation

Neutrinos

Right but just being in a movie doesn’t make you A-list.

Tipping

A list. Not D list.

Convert it to binary for a real shot

O my!

All things FIFA

Wont somebody think of the children!

Mute topic based on content in image. I see too many screen shots of stuff that should’ve been muted.

Tony Stark

0 1 2 3 4 5 6

Root cause analysis man. Can determine why something failed or worked. But only after it’s been done.

Trusting the fart which was untrustworthy

Greed

Partially true. A good homemade vanilla is a true delight.

Yes. Too light of a chocolate to give it color but no flavor is an abomination

Economically messed up. The entire baby industry would be destroyed. And then restarting it would be painful. Then a weird carnage will happen in the school systems as well.

You’ll love /maliciouscompliance

Clean water

They believe the Dunning–Kruger effect doesn’t apply to them.

/r/woooosh

Oh no! He’d only still be a multi-billionaire. The horror!

{insert laugh track here}

80’s comedy movies had a lot of humor that is now sexual assault

Be rich

The answer to the question: Where’s the beef?

I paid for it. I’m not wasting the money

Brain.

Laugh. The upside to the second amendment is there will be a crap ton of guerrila warfare independent of the US military

Always have a bodyguard close by for safety for in the Bible you might get killed Numbers 25:7-8 he left the assembly, took a spear(R) in his hand 8 and followed the Israelite into the tent. He drove the spear into both of them, right through the Israelite man and into the woman’s stomach.

Panda

My bet is Mali. Mali is the hottest in the world, with an average yearly temperature of 83.89°F (28.83°C).

If in the wrong direction: burn all the forests.

Extremely partisan (left or right) political pundit/mouthpiece

Happy days. They literally invented the term.

Batman. He has all the tools on his belt.

1/2 the country will hate the results.

A shit ton of wasted time on needless “investigations”

Sign the back of the ticket.

I wouldn’t believe you.

Whitney Houston’s I will always love you. Original by Dolly Parton

Gas mileage

I have an iPhone and the built in iPhone podcast is a giant dumpster fire. I use Overcast I’m not sure if it’s available on android but if it is and is similar … I highly recommend.

Sauerkraut and mashed potatoes with a side of home made applesauce

People ordering too fancy of a drink at Starbucks and slowing the line down so I can just get straight black coffee.

The charge of a proton.

The preservation of voting rights

Podcasts and their promotions of them wasting screen space. I listen to podcasts elsewhere.

The Spanish Inquisition

Gaslighting of any kind.

O carp

Shitting on birds would be sweet revenge

Work commutes would be so much easier.

Why people are ignorant of how inflation works.

This would be funny if they could read.

Will the republicans honor the will of the people in the races they lose?

https://costplusdrugs.com/

PTO (parent teacher organization) officer

How tax brackets work. As in .. how much your taxes change when you go $1 into the next bracket.

Proceed to say “what gold”?

Cash out with a golden parachute and live off the simple 4% at most withdrawal rate.

Wow

Mindset. Which for some happened early teens. For others, it could never happen.

Generic store brand white bread.

Maybe Biden and the democrats are supporting Ukraine, so the Republicans seem to be throwing way more support for Putin than they should.

The USA were supporting osama bin Laden and other religious fanatics in Afghanistan when the Russians tried occupying it.

Its a false question. It’s a private platform that can do anything they want with speech.

Dumpster fires Dumpster fires everywhere

Live simple and be quietly generous every day.

Fire being discovered

Inability to afford health care bills

Identity theft

Did he choo-choo-choose you?

Does a monkey count?

Confirmed. Joke recycled in memory of Recyclops

Going consistently and sticking to a plan. Recommended: getting a quality plan from a trainer

Because that party doesn’t care. Their only value is winning. No other values exist.

They asked me if I ever fired a gun in the office while being the manager of a small paper supplier.

Cold leftover takeout pizza. Runner up: cold leftover takeout Chinese.

I never saw it but I suspect the Emoji movie might have the most icons.

Any kind. Sometimes I admit I’ll add a tiny bit of milk for bad gas station coffee to mask bad gas station coffee.

And I originally started this as a frozen ice coffee like sweetened concoction. Now it’s straight black. And straight black only.

Make a list tomorrow

Banned alcohol via constitutional amendment

Destroy the entire world’s population. No more murders!

Harry Styles should’ve been a barber.

England or Ireland castle on a high coast line.

Comedy fodder

UG. Lancaster “Patriot” is probably getting ready to send free editions of their “newspaper” before the election.

It seems rather cruel for God to let us burn and suffer forever. Annihilation seems more in Gods character of mercy

Dolly Parton

Energy consumption is ridiculous

MyAnus

Performing can be like a drug where there are hundreds or thousands cheering you on. And these guys know drugs, but you can’t manufacture that same feeling.

My shampoo bottle has lasted longer than 3 prime ministers.

Other peoples kids.

Today on my drive home a nice hawk pick up a squirrel to take him far away. What a time saver for the squirrel. I could tell the squirrel was exited by the way it’s tail was flapping with excitement.

Pizza and very berry sundae

Vanquish all medical debt, student loan debt, and payday loan debt.

James

Or both. Most likely both.

You know the rules …

Kurt Cobain

The programmer who makes lots of patches on open source mailing lists and is unheard of unless you are on that mailing subscription.

Imagine the work google did when the thirtieth Olympiad took place in 2012. (Hint: it was the XXX Olympiad)

Falling out of a tree

Looking at the list of speakers, it appears to be a who’s who of dumpster fire trash.

Yes. Because faith is a belief, not a certainty like a fact. So it’s only human nature to have times of doubt. I’d fear anyone who never ever doubts.

We are mortal and will eventually die

Less tolerant of heat and cold.

Sugary breakfast

Reddit premium is worth the cost.

In reality, 2 totally different things. In right wing media, they are interchangeable terms to slander someone or something they don’t like.

An undo option during a conversation

Unmet expectations

Quietly after the sun expands and burns the earth. Meanwhile, earth is only full of plant life after billions of years because human drove themselves to extinction.

The Spanish Inquisition.

Check your local library

Clavin? As in cliff.

Sorry. The south won the war. The north won the military incursion. The south won because they played the long game better. And now I’m sad.

This literally just happened to me. I had to walk I to the bank to make the last payment. I also needed to pay a filing fee to for having the paperwork submitted to the county register of deeds. So there may be an extra fee too for that last payment.

Donald Trump syndrome

Anywhere you’d be a political minority in an authoritarian regime.

Mosquito bites

John Stewart

What’s the biggest thing you can imagine? Now double it.

Buy the biggest house you can afford.

I can fix their internet or printer.

See in the future. Buy me a lottery ticket.

Australian

We can quickly read and understand this having never seen this question. And generate an adequate response.

Bring in OSHA. This place is a workplace safety nightmare.

If the mattress is usable in good shape, off the street lancaster might take it for you. http://lancaster.offthestreetsnow.com/

Talk on a phone still attached to a wall.

When two gay men have sex, how do they know whose penis will open up to accept the other person's penis?

Buy a water bottle. And travel everywhere with it.

A mom making a huge breakfast only to have everyone rush in and take 2 bites and leave.

Alien and cocoon

Free no. Taxpayer funded like every other world country besides the USA? Bring it on!

Food poisoning

Probably to the strip for a technical conference. Otherwise I have no reason to go.

Jack and coke. Never a fan of the other option.

Empty space in a vacuum still has some kind of energy potential. If gravity waves can create ripples which expands and contracts space, there is some kind of energy there. So accounting for it is tricky and tiny but over that vast ginormous ness between galaxies, that’s a lot of possible energy.

Wow. Thanks. I saw them at the township vs hempfield football game and was really confused as to where they were coming from.

Index funds. They are boring and won’t beat the average because they are the average. And monster mutual funds benchmark off an index and typically over enough time will trail it. And really trail it after management costs are added in.

PI is 3 if you round down.

Jesus Mohammed Hussein Hitler III

Right hand being raised at MAGA events.

Not investing in it. Especially in the last 15 years where interest rates were insanely low.

Coffee, hot coffee

Thoughts and prayers. Yeah, neither of those are happening

The Winds of Winter. But I doubt it’ll ever happen.

Trumpets always *think* they are the best. That’s what makes them adorable

The correct answer: marching band. Source: person once in marching band

I can guarantee they are not progressive.

Really? It feels like he’s changed a lot since American idol. He seems to be more the nice guy nice now.

Performances start at 4:15pm Millersville University will exhibition around 9:15 pm

There may be cameras. But they might just be monitoring cameras. Not enforcement cameras.

A few (kill)ocalories

The county is mostly 65/35 split. Stay out of the southern end. Everywhere else on aggregate will be (R). Your best chance will be lancaster township, parts of hempfield or Mannheim township for possibly your best chance at a better ratio. But the clincher is imo is your neighbors. So being mixed race, you’ll have to just inspect the neighborhood for its closest people and vibe. But I wish I had more helpful advice.

Bumble bee

Bumble bee

Wearing a Christian like slogan shirt while treating customer service like shit.

“The Streisand effect is a phenomenon that occurs when an attempt to hide, remove, or censor information has the unintended consequence of increasing awareness of that information” https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Streisand_effect

Your dead. You don’t have a choice.

Precision

Barbara Streisand (unwittingly) inventing the Streisand effect

Ok. Then jumper cables.

Pepé Le Pew

The belt.

Batman. No power except for being rich.

It doesn’t. It’s word salad to “own the libs”

Dolly Parton

It

It’s mine. If I were in Russia it’d have to be ourpee

“Your eyes can deceive you; don’t trust them.” —Obi-Wan Kenobi, Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope

Sharpie because I fell asleep around the wrong people.

Tax carbon dioxide and other fossil fuels. Use those taxes to subsidize cleaner fuels. Increase taxes as needed to ensure cleaner fuels become more economically viable.

Moon landing was fake.

dyslexic version

Numbers and deuteronomy do overlaps. Kings and chronicles get weird too And the four New Testament gospels get odd too. By hopping to other books, it ruins the original authors literary timeline. It might mess up various chiasms or break apart 2 stories which may be chronological apart but juxtaposed to build a point.

If you have a 15 minute commute. Then I highly recommend the Bible app and a 1 year reading plan. Then listen to that as your morning commute. Don’t fret about getting it all the first time. I’m working through with the strategy for 5 years now. Also try a different plan each year. I do not recommend chronological the first time, since there will be a lot of jumping verses and you lose the theology over various interpretations of chronology.

Nope she was "a demon in the sack"

To close the loop - It turned out my service provider was blocking my IP. Once I gave them more details, they added me to a white list and it now works OK. ​ Wild guess on root cause: I had an automated script on a rasp pi log in every 5 minutes to update a (text) piece of data. I suspect that may have triggered some type of intrusion system to auto-ban me.

/r/idiotsincars

I love how they were one of the first (non cartoon) over the top comedies on a major network to also omit the laugh track. They made it ok for lots of other shows to kill the laugh track.

Buying a winning lottery ticket can yield an amazing return on investment. Follow me for more financial tips.

I bet when he eats it, he spits it out like Monty Burns did the with ole blinky in Simpsons season 2 when he ran for governor.

The target audience

Volume in music

Own the libs.

I can’t make you love me. Bonnie raitt

Baby shark.

I’ve already paid my wife and my student loans off. But fuck yes a zillion times over.

How about … not just a second hazer? But 3 new hazers and a fan for the fog only on the floor effect?

If your think you are an expert, you’re on the cusp of realizing you know very little.

Psycho sex

Half the people are below average intelligence. And then we let the Internet amplify their message.

Good enough to have been turned on twice

- git branch -D main - git checkout mybranch - git checkout -b main - git push origin main

Googling … “git revert to specific date”

Waiting for the meme of - Understand pointers - understand pointers to pointers - understand function pointers - a gazillion variations go here

People would die really young. Pain is essential to avoiding things that make us die.

We do waterfall until user acceptance testing. Then we finally finish our requirement and become agile.

Real command liners open a new terminal and “killall -9 vim”

The ! means it’s excited for big things to come.

Sales guy: Yeah … I promised that. And that. Fuck yeah! That too! They loooooooooved that! Off to spend my commission, have fun!

Eisenhower. Warned of military industrial complex. Was ok with a 91% tax rate at the ultra wealthy level. Gave us the interstate highway system (which is both good and bad)

Unit tests now complete in half the time!

It’s called coffee.

A fictional talking point by conservatives to scare other conservatives

Hedge funds or large investment firms buying houses to either rent them out as Airbnb or other ways to kill an overheated housing market.

Season 4 was great. The second to last episode was great. The last episode … meh. The actors were magnificent. Just incredible. But I was hoping this was the conclusion. Not the setup for 5. This was such a great season that I don’t know if they could make 5 better. I’m really hoping this ends up on /r/agedlikemilk after 5 is concluded, but I’m not optimistic.

What about isEven? Marty, where we are going … there is no isEven.

It’s only a problem if someone else eventually remembers it’s a problem. Otherwise, it’s a desirement. (Desire disguised as a requirement)

data pronounced as data

I prefer 2 when dealing with json or html

Write an email where during the explaining it in detail, you answer your own question and promptly DONT SEND THE EMAIL!

What is jquery?

Because dealing with %20 sucks.

Find a competent #2 to run all of it instead.

Ultimate measure: did the paycheck clear?

Learn pascal first.

Do or do not. There is no try.

Plot twist. Lawyer contact information was in the dropped table.

Just drop table Problem solved.

Nope. I’m an open source committer. In other words, I’m fuel for future stackoverflow questions.

class_

Nope. Try Bacon on a sheet in an oven at 400F

Fucking copy/paste from Word Fucking copy/paste from Word Fucking copy/paste from Word Fucking copy/paste from Word

Just use UUID’s for error codes. Then it’s trivial to grep the code base instead of remembering where the codes are.

Knowing enough to be dangerous. Not useful … just dangerous.

klass has entered the chat.

Just terminate and restart the process after a little while. Problem solved!

Work at the same job for 30 years saving 10-15% of my pay in a stock index fund

Obviously April 25

Be patient and vote.

Farming

School shootings

Guy grows third eye to save everything and the girl

Patriot. The white nationalist took it and defiled it.

Preparing for next year. Auditing. Finishing tax returns when extensions were filed. Providing advice on spending through the year to minimize tax burden.

Work. Because we are professionals.

Inferior to Al, who scored 4 touchdowns in a single game.

I’ll change my mind after someone rips open his insides and thousands of baby spiders craw out.

Good luck and I also specialize in cleaning up prior projects.

Perl allows it but the operator I think is “x”

Cornhole

If you can’t identify toxic people, you are probably the toxic person. Good luck with that.

Because I'm blue da ba dee da ba daa Da ba dee da ba daa, da ba dee da ba daa, da ba dee da ba daa Da ba dee da ba daa, da ba dee da ba daa, da ba dee da ba daa

They have systematically proven trump broke many laws and is a threat to democracy. Which is important for historians. Whether anything is done about it remains to be seen.

They have systematically proven trump broke many laws and is a threat to democracy. Which is important for historians. Whether anything is done about it remains to be seen.

Hans Gruber has a parachute and lives.

Jamaica

Derude sandstorm. Released in 1999

Be trustworthy

A new name.

Scranton strangler. It was actually Toby

A congressional rep from NYC

Hypocrisy

If used improperly, could easily trigger amazing inflation.

Seveneves has entered the chat.

Fundamentalists.

John Stewart. Yeah I know it’s another celebrity. He maybe a darling of the left, but he’s not as liberal as most think. So he could make most centrists happy.

1 quadrillion dollars. Can buy anything or invest in anything to move society forward in any manner I’d like.

Security cameras with usable pictures

Pastors and policemen. They have some of the best too. But the bad ones really overshadow the good ones.

50 years of progress.

Forrest Gump. Who could’ve seen that twist coming?

*yet

Get a consistent bed and wake up time which includes enough sleep.

Golden girls.

Trump fundraiser emails.

Are the bananas for eating, or for scale?

septuagenarian in government leadership.

Golden girls theme song.

Pro-birth

“Patriotism”

It’s always been fucked up. Our challenge is information travel is so fast. And now so personal and targeted that we as individuals can no longer properly filter out news event severity.

It’s gotta be a first and last name combo. For example I knew someone that had a last name of Garcia. I was trying to convince them to name the kid Cherry.

Genocide. Lots of genocide.

I don’t know

Maybe Shaq?

Half of the USA hates the government. Which half depends on the party in government

Princess bride

Stackoverflow has entered the conversation

Poker

All the bad and aging infrastructure for the water supply.

Doubles as a boomerang. When you’re really mad and feel like throwing it, at least it’ll come back.

I too love trying to validate emails. /s

500 miles

The shower

Forgive up to 34k which gets rid of 100% for half the people. And this covers the cost over inflation we’ve seen in the last 20 years to make college more affordable

White people get 2/3 of a vote but only for the next 12 years as something to think about.

Sometimes you won’t know that landing until the delivery is done.

Ultra salty briny solution

That’s called dehydration

Mainly anything Clarence Thomas votes on.

We have justices already doing that. What should stop them is picking folks who won’t do that.

I semi tractor trailer full of palladium

I think he’s still dead.

We lose the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders.

Rooftop solar panels for as many people as I can buy it for in my town

South central PA fairs and carnivals are common places.

1) Buy doge coin at the day before it blew up 2) sell it the day before it imploded Only need to go back 2 or 3 years at most.

And setup autopay at 100% of the balance. As well as setup alerts for any usage over a threshold or card not present.

Water is the only thing that expands when changing from liquid to solid.

That the Bible believers would read an entire chapter instead of cherry picking verses.

Bating

Another top gun sequel. (Rules never said it had to be a good idea)

It’s like cleaning the house when you expect folks to come over and look at it when trying to sell it. I too love money.

Elon Musk insulting the diver as a pedo during the 2018 Thai cave rescue.

Wonder why states do not do anything regarding a well armed militia as a requirement to owning various guns.

Realize how many times I’ve also fallen off my bike and move on.

Accidentally drinking too much ice tea and forgetting that it had caffeine

Program has frozen on line 2.

Suck if I know

Prince, Lennon, Tupac, Parton

Going from Pawnee to Eagleton

Quality teeth!

The same as when Courtney Love sang it.

Thank you for the delicious home made donut?

Their political decorations on their motor vehicle.

Stickers on edible fruit.

451 is my favorite. Change my mind.

People upvoting this comment.

Toby. Twice.

Can we all celebrate that Firefly won’t ever be in this list?

The upside is it’ll also be too heavy to be in the air to take a massive dump on someone.

The weather forecast looks to be a high of 120f today.

On time and under budget and satisfied unit testing.

Why are people not using the marquee tag anymore?

Was Annie ok?

Employed in corporate computer security. Incredible high demand but also high stress.

How many donkeys were in the Shrek movies?

The addition time suck and variability in line waiting was too stressful. I still avoid flying because it’s not worth the time.

Electrify it

Too many statements to kick off the argument are false dichotomies.

Historians will love it. Diehard MAGA will hate it. Who knows what’ll happen

Any home improvement project on a house older than 100 years old.

Ice

It’s not a pyramid scheme!

An “or” sprinkled in with a bunch of ands with no parentheses is going to give you a bad time.

Is fucking moron also an extra side jab at Ted Cruz?

Red onions

First time a few weeks ago and had an occular migraine.

The death of all lobbyists propping the security theater system up

You could be somewhere and not be on some video camera.

He might win the election if all his kids vote for him.

Judges 21. The tribe of Benjamin fucked up and was about to be wiped out by the other tribes by not allowing any of their daughters to marry into the tribe. But then those tribes realized it’s a dick move to do that but pledged an oath to not explicitly allow their daughters to marry in. So they devised a plan that when the girls were dancing at the local festival by the vineyard, run out and kidnap them for your wife. Since you kidnapped them for your wife, it’s cool because we never broke our oath.

Also may result in green poop too a few days later.

NFL opening weekend.

When being a mall Santa?

It’s ok for anti abortion republicans to have a abortions in private.

Freeze them and save them for smoothies or shakes.

Stock market down 20%. Index funds for the win. Warning: you may still “lose” money in the short term. But only if you sell and it keeps dropping.

Kurt Cobain (Edit: I’m a moron and can’t spell first names)

Plot twist: only using TLS1.0

Microsoft teams has made huge inroads to adoption.

Florida. That would buy them the most time because we’d assume it’s just Florida man being crazy.

If you are getting a cat (not kitten) which had previous owners. It could take 6 months to 2 years to see its personality.

Belongs in /r/explainlikeim5

Communism is not a bad idea. But it neglects the greedy nature of people. Which is why capitalism works so well. (Ok. Maybe not so well, but better)

They buy a new car in cash. But it’s not a luxury car. Just your typical Honda or Toyota.

Bingo!

Your chance of dying or injury by a gun is too high.

Aborted fetuses

Unlimited vacation. “We don’t keep track”

Meta: shut it down

Yo momma such a whore, that they needed to rotate the phone to landscape to get the extra digits for the body count.

More realistic. Don’t shoo Bang Bang Bang Bang ! t. I could’ve fixed your concurrency bugs.

So I have the computer security job now?

If a JIRA ticket was never opened, was it really broken?

A 7.2% annualized rate of return compounded doubles the amount in 10 years.

Hippopotamus

Showering.

Pat from the old SNL skits.

Keeping up with the Kardashians. Luckily, I let them get away and never tried.

And then she has to rotate the phone to landscape mode due to running out of digits.

Information is freely and quickly available to prove what is true, but misinformation is worse than ever.

They’d do something stupid and get charged with a felony. Then /r/leopardsatemyface by losing their ability to own guns due to that felony.

Constant refresh of ask Reddit sort by new

Pretend the election was stolen from you and ask for money to defend democracy.

The full tax documents of every billionaire and their businesses as well as every congressional representative and post them online.

You know the rules …

Don’t. Let the people enjoy things.

The markets will go back up. Invest what you can in an index fund. Index funds are awesome in that crappy companies drop out and new ones flow in by the definition of that particular index.

Me

Johnny Depp and Robert Downey Jr.

Indoor plumbing.

Not a woman. But an episiotomy with no epidural

For a certain set of the population, I bet it is cilantro.

A year of paid tuition

Put money into index fund. Repeat monthly for 20-30 years. Withdrawal only in case of emergency

Andy Dick

Programmer: We google how to do even the dumbest things. Many times a day

And their fetishes.

Every change makes things worse. Making you go farther back to fix and repeat the cycle.

You get temporary amnesia after using your power forgetting you used it

Alabama has entered the chat ….

Navy men who got turned down by them.

Food hole and air hole can be separate

Na na na na na na na na batmail … batmail … BATMAIL!

That’s for marketing to decide

You must pronounce data as data, not data.

“You realize you posted this with your primary and not throw away account?”

Writes program to fudge the timesheet.

If you call it a milkshake and have it as a meal, people think your a monster. Have a smoothie as a meal and people assume you are eating healthy.

Verify the math

I solve problems and make more problems as I solve them, only to solve more problems. Only to make other new problems, which I can then solve.

Dobbie was a good friend.

Which is why 17k is so much better than 10. It does 2 things. Kills the debt for half the people and hits a good chunk for those who are average. I’m fine is someone has some student debt. And my preference for forgiveness is to wipe away enough that it covers the college inflation costs over regular inflation of the last 20 years. So at least college is priced comparable to 20 years ago.

Right. And next you’ll say birds are real too.

Ultra thin 4K tv’s

Where’s Waldo.

David Harbour (Hopper from stranger things)

Self driving flying cars. Flying cars must be 100% self driving because people can’t in drive in 2 dimensions correctly. But rules could get established and codified early enough for 3D flying to work.

The eventual destruction of natural gas, oil, and coal electric power plants would be a welcome site.

Even Mother Nature gets into pride month.

Don’t wear a white dress

In the 60’s/70’s, it just took the Black panthers existing.

bugs barber of seville

Earth song

I’m not one for eliminating guns. But the bar to get them has to be much higher. And anything which allows for rapid fire and/or large magazines designed to mass casualty should be outright banned. This won’t get rid of gun violence because there is no silver bullet. But incremental improvements is better than the current path or more common destruction

https://www.brookings.edu/blog/how-we-rise/2021/05/19/7-myths-about-defunding-the-police-debunked/

That’s not what defund the police is about. It’s about not pouring more resources into overworked cops who are untrained In mental illness. And getting other people on those calls so we don’t end up with lethal outcomes for mental issues. It’s a win win all around except for “smaller” police budgets. But in reality, it’s probably more expensive. But with better outcomes

No more Ted Cruz? Sign me up.

You don’t. You use the system and prove it. Such as bug reports and detailed root cause analysis for issues. No need to waste your time. If management doesn’t see that, then it’s time to leave for a new job and leave bad management.

Meh

Start taking notes. This will either be a great comedy or Dateline mystery episode.

Pat is the original OG name.

I’ve heard Mount Rushmore is meh.

By population is best. Alphabetical is confusing based on different languages

Evangelical pastors obsessed with preaching about sex. Because they are projecting their private desires.

Put in a coma but you are conscious. And for some reason they show everything on tv you hate 24/7 for the rest of your life.

A talking point that is coded to mean we won’t do anything

The average number they have is 1

It’s my greeting to others for work conference calls.

Dang. Birds and squirrels can get and their poop could transmit it. https://www.allaboutbirds.org/news/health-update-peanuts/

Squirrel and bird feeder. Just cover a pine cone with the peanut butter and coat it in bird seed.

People who answer this. And people who keep scrolling.

Covid-19 proved that to be true.

I’m only hoping I wasn’t filmed and posted to /r/idiotsincars

I drove 26mph in a 25.

Charlatans with agendas

It’s the Florida of Europe.

See the history of Lobster. I believe it used to be fed only to prisoner.

No followed by how did I get here?

Where is Epstein’s client list? Everyone knows why.

Since it’s a STD, I fear for the crossover to the animal population.

About 20 years ago. The first time I ate a steak medium rare. From some cowboy restaurant in Texas. I wasn’t given a choice on how well it was cooked and glad.

Which leads us to perspective can really warp how big we think things are. Some may think the moon is as big as the sun because they appear the same size. Or that my pinky fingernail is bigger than both when I put it in front it my face and are able to block both from view.

How progressive tax rates work.

Fight in room with ceiling of my height

Very huge

iPhone

Followed by, how about now?

Did we land?

I can choose to have the most up to date correct information at my fingertips but I end up looking at cat memes instead.

🤷‍♂️

Reagan got rid of the fairness doctrine in the 80’s and right wing media was born

Wasps.

Veterans affairs has a 270+ billion dollar budget. Which by the way is bigger than 40billion.

Spotting propaganda and bias

Capital gains tax allows insanely low tax rates for the wealthy. As well as other financial loopholes for people who really don’t work, they skim off the top

Freedom and individuality is more important than other people.

Cars have more rights than people if you like to walk.

Only Americans will think that is impressive instead of an abomination

Hi, what is your favorite conversation starter?

Pong

Prince, queen, led zeppelin

Homer: Aw, twenty dollars? I wanted a peanut! Homer's Brain: Twenty dollars can buy many peanuts. Homer: Explain how! Homer's Brain: Money can be exchanged for goods and services.

Cats (and other pets) and by bought: I mean adopting fees

Kept them for too many years and then trashed them

Alright Alright Alright Alright Alright Alright Alright Alright

Anything in the financial sector. Especially hedge funds.

I’m torn between large hadron collider and Hoover dam.

In a few months: abortion.

Thinking it’s just the flu

Missing: electricity generation

At least one person will comment on this post

Kerry Gold butter

Yeah. Thanos was the “bad guy”

Check the previous flu pandemics . About 10 and 20 years ago. But we do get really big ones every 100

11 years ago. Chicken

Meat on a stick from a street vendor in New York City.

Born in the USA by Springsteen is not a pro patriotic anthem.

Won’t happen. The best Ukraine can do is attack. Defense is much easier than offense because offense after initial victory then requires forces to hold ground as well as supply lines to keep those troops supplied. Ukraine isn’t even close to those capabilities.

Groin kick to Putin.

I feel for Thanos.

Quadruple resources to white collar law enforcement. Especially tax evasion and political shenanigans

The original biblical authors looking at the US evangelical adaptation

Max your 401k into the s&p index. Repeat for 25 years.

Trump. He was in the bottom 5 but then ended up number 1 due to the attempted coup.

I can write anything in one line of Perl. And every time I do, I stare in amazement then refactor it to many lines so as not to hate my future self debugging it.

i+=(i ^ 0)

It’s every ten.

Driving 26 with a 25mph speed limit

Shrek soundtrack. Especially Holding out for a hero.

Power bricks for old electronics

Captain America and iron man.

When on fire, it’s gotta be Woody

Understand O notation and picking bad O notation algorithms on first iteration

Gaslighting came from a movie where the husband messed with his wife’s head by saying the gas was on.

Pianos

Holy forking shirtballs!

Sell a platinum check mark

What’s your dollar limit to start considering it worthwhile to kill someone?

Find a gym accountability set of friends for a morning workout.

Only 10 people will understand this type of question.

Preserve is vague. Deep freeze works well minus the damage by water. DNA sequencing preserves the genetic line and can be stored in multiple mediums. A healthy diet and modern medicine can keep a person alive. And fixing global warming helps the species as a whole.

Extremely. A sign of high intelligence is upvoting complimentary comments.

History of the world. I don’t want a Spaceballs sequel cause I know I’d have too high expectations and be disappointed

You still have time to switch to yearly at an overall lower cost. But it’ll require an email to circulation.

And soon my heel will strike that snake in the forehead

Somebody once told me that fruit is gonna kill me.

Could it be possible that John the Baptist and his father taught him? John the Baptist was Jesus’ cousin. And John the Baptist’s father, Zechariah, was a priest.

The USA

Easy Immigration from Mexico.

That would cost ”a lot” more

Claim to be anti-regulation and libertarian and are quick to pass abortion laws, anti-lgbt, etc Claim to be fiscally responsible. They cut taxes and increase spending. The closest they get to fiscal responsibility is when the control the house and there is a democratic president, but that only works because they are trying to cut to make the President look bad. Trickle down is a joke. They claim to be Christian but act way to close like classical Rome. That’s just a starter.

Simpsons with Hank Scorpio from Globex.

Never having to wipe after a poop.

He’s doing ok considering what he has to deal with. I know what the Republicans stand for and loathe it. They are well disciplined to be on a very narrow message. The message of power for the party. The Democrats are too big tent and can’t get anything done because they are too inclusive.

Sometimes the code just needs primed by running a few times before starting up to work correctly

Our breathe hole is shared with our food hole.

Grey poupon mustard.

Go to bed early for good night sleep.

Speaking from experience? Then I’ll do the opposite of you.

And thankfully everyone running Java8 laughs at those scrambling to mitigate spring4shell.

This would be funny if I understood math. /s

New challenge accepted

Orange is time wasted while debugging and forgetting to build first.

SQL null has entered the room.

Speed. I am speed

Thanks. I hate it even more now.

It’s not the algorithm, it’s the QA engineer’s fault!

Who has time to configure the logger to show info level messages? Warn, error, or fatal it is!

At least they weren’t blocking the crosswalk?

Probably the low center of gravity due to the battery being mounted underneath probably saved them on that point

At that price, Someone is probably getting stolen from or exploited. I’d prefer to not encourage that behavior.

Looks like 5, not 6. https://www.forbes.com/sites/zackfriedman/2022/01/23/do-you-qualify-for-5-billion-of-student-loan-forgiveness/

Wrong answers are scored wrong. They are set to -1 instead of subtracting 1

You don't want the truth because deep down in places you don't talk about at parties, you want me on that wall -- you need me on that wall.

Alias vi to emacs or the opposite

Update their .profile to make PATH a bogus value

Anticipation of it.

That’s just a one line fix

Shrek

Kids

While spanking your child ** ** it’s a joke. Don’t spank. It’s not a good discipline technique.

Exactly. Fixed today. And tomorrow I have a new issue that I get paid to solve with a different !important

Wow. With linear trending, you’ll be richer that Bill Gates in no time. Congratulations, you did it!

Probably also claims to be a Bible believing Christian.

Steamed hams. Next exit.

This is marketing’s problem, not mine

/r/leopardsatemyface

With the high precision, I’d expect it to be constantly counting down. In which case, I’d be supers stressed watching it while doing the mental calculations thinking how much time I now have left. Which feels way less when you see a number counting down real fast.

And all of the sudden, various states disagree and remain on both. Thank goodness for that lone guy who maintains the time zone database.

/\* Ignore the light. We believe it only works half the time. \*/

Our unrequested feature

Firefly would’ve sucked with a second season.

One minute later. Pizza not allowed.

Farts. Need to be shared.

I don’t. I suck at it. It’s expensive to play. And to get better at it, it’s really expensive. And I’m prone to easily getting sunburned, so multiple hours in the sun feels like a nightmare.

gopher://

You waste as much energy as possible and call it crypto currency.

1/1, 2/2, 3/3, … 12/12. And you favorite day/month format doesn’t matter

Used condoms.

I thought this was a r/absoluteunits post for a moment.

When you get paid by lines of code written.

Looks like he died happy.

Have money in a retirement plan. The earlier the money gets in, the more it can grow and the less stress later when getting ready for retirement. Or partial retirement.

It’s suicide for China. China’s economy needs the US for growth. Any kind of prolonged stagnation of the economy has huge political risks for the communist party there.

The editor. Cutting and keeping the right scenes and keeping them flowing in the optimal order.

Answering the opposite: I hate to say it, but I think maralargo is probably a safe location to be.

You can afford to drink alcohol, but your body can’t tolerate it anymore.

Eisenhower.

Caffeine

Gulf war II

A bloody lump that is not poop.

All of them which seem happy/funny. They are all fighting depression. Key example: Robin Williams.

Epstein had help to kill himself

Chased by a zombie. They were below me on a ladder. I went to kick it in the face, then for some reason my leg woke up and I kicked the bed post so hard I almost broke a toe.

0

And we have a winner

Outdoor Solar powered motion light for above my trash cans. In 3 of the 4 seasons, it’s very handy to not fumble putting the trash out in the dark.

my $x;

Day 1 is write x amount of code and get it working to spec. Day 2, 3 is rewriting the code from day one to be shorter, better naming, and realizing I’ll be looking at this for another 10 years (or pretend the next person is a psychopathic murder and I want to stay on their good side) So day 2,3 are net negative lines of code days.

This is easy to fix by adding a wrapper to simplify/mask the complexity underneath

Does this mean the Spanish Inquisition didn’t happen?

Check how the account was opened. It might be fraud. I know someone who recently had a truist account opened in their name fraudulently.

I remain registered Republican only to have the opportunity to vote twice in a year against Smucker instead of just once.

It’s actively trying to sell itself or parts of itself. This was announced in q4 last year. As for the plant, who knows. This could turn into a dunder mifflin and the plant is the only value thing working.

Reported by Fox news.

Can only spend and receive in pennies

New York. In particular because of New York City. They give zero fucks.

East Petersburg Auto Service right beside Fulton bank is a good place. I’ve never had issues there.

Customers become the problem, not the opportunity.

A fart I shouldn’t have trusted.

Both choices signify a high probability of bad parents in the future

When payment systems became more practical.

They break out the alcohol cause they are now stuck up there.

The electrician

Baby carrots.

Drink a beer on every fuel refill.

NFL overtime becomes a field goal kickoff contest starting on the 40 yard line. Every success moves them back 5 yards. No defensive line is used. But the ball must be hiked and held. Suspenseful and safest for the other players who are already tired.

Comedies with no laugh tracks

100% wool everything

Sorry, I’m not Toby Flenderson.

This will be on the front page soon

Blueberries

Pointers

Dr Oz is trying in PA for senate. I’m hoping for a spectacular fail. Especially since he’s from New Jersey

*Not* being alone in the dark.

Which religion was the right one.

Riding in a car vs all other forms of transportation

A bulldozer.

No response so it’s safe that I’m not walking in on someone

The origin of the chainsaw was for child birth

Going to bed early. And staying out of trouble by going to bed early.

Your name is Michael Scott.

Mickey Mouse.

perfect for /r/tihi ?

Climate change forcing mass migration

Nothing. His initial vision is complete. The companies managers will take over.

How about we answer it this way: Which is worse. Eating a shit sandwich or drinking a shit milkshake?

Maybe it’s wearing an invisibility cloak on its body?

Read the terms and conditions to see if you have recourse. Mostly likely the terms and conditions say you lost.

You Sincerely, Your mom

This is the way

Not. The amount of computing power to make me fart as well as fart based on most foods seems rather foolish.

On cheese, depending on the cheese, is quite excellent

Any non serif font

The memory of your crushes first smile at you.

How did this take 3 days of trial? Should’ve been 3 minutes.

Sitting amazed that I downloaded a Metallica song on a Sun workstation in the .au format from some random location pre Napster and limewire.

The public.

Ppl still might do it for free. But I believe if they cut, they really cut for functionality so as not to come back for a long time. Not for aesthetics.

I’ve enjoyed his tv show Miracle Workers.

Loki taught us this. You can do just about anything in an area about to be destroyed

https://www.columbiapa.net/news_detail_T46_R135.php

Belmont chick-fil-a traffic Columbia airfield conversion to drone stem zone Penn state hospital opening soon in east hempfield and it’s impact on lgh/Penn medicine.

Virtually every atomic bomb

Vaccine acceptance

Whitney Houston’s I will always love you is technically a cover song.

And this policy was very unlike most administrations since WW1

His foreign policy was pretty isolationist. Meaning he got minimally involved in other countries. And he toned down military action and intervention over seas. That’s one thing I did like about him.

Can unite people for good. Not divide for partisan gain.

Aunt barb

365 days.

It’s not?

You can shorten or lengthen a traffic light by 3 seconds.

Clean drinking water from the tap and toilets to take it away.

We see that now as Putin has been pushing a psychological warfare on the USA for years to keep it weakened and distracted as part of Cold War 2.0.

Die of dysentery

Race relations were always bad. But right wing media has amplified the more toxic traits of it. And worse, cried that they are actually the victim by professionally gas lighting America

When the scissor goes - - - across the paper instead of ~ ~ ~

Shower.

Javelin + speed skating.

Frank and beans!

Scrapple

Bigamy might be possible but highly highly doubtful in success. Because consenting is probably not happening because there is a power dynamic being exploited to allow the 1 to many relationship happen. Because of the power dynamic, the consent while verbal, is more coercive.

The golden girls. Despite how old the show is, you’d be shocked at the topics it hit at the time. But because it was 4 “old ladies”, it was overlooked

Do or do not. There is no try.

No airport waiting. I remember flying prior to 9/11, while you still needed to arrive a little early, flying was so much easier.

Thanos

Fascism. {sad trombone}

He’s perfectly happy with disinformation on his platform regardless of cost to society compared to himself

People will go crazy on 2/2/22 at 2:22

Live murder going on there

Texas claims superiority and goes it alone with their electric grid. A cold snap shuts the whole thing down since deregulation didn’t encourage winterizing.

Both are fine. CV has more Amish and farmers in the district so you that will affect various rates with respect to ranking. But the district is large enough that your student can take advantage of the resources available and be highly successful.

The Covid-19 vaccines are safe and effective.

Cut scene to the Death Star blowing up Krypton.

Omitting marvel will just tick people off. {maniacal laugh}

I’d make a crossover of Star Wars, Star Trek, and DC comics universe.

What’s your opinion on season 1 of parks and recreation?

Ethnic humor.

Currently I think it’s Kathryn Marie Hahn.

It depends on the leader. The existing pope shows great humility. But the religious right evangelical leaders of the USA would be a horrible option.

Faster healing. Getting older sucks with aches and pains.

Inside the coffin.

Parenting a newborn is tough. They need time off. This includes dads too.

Tom hanks. Everyone loves him.

Sports betting.

Uranium. Uranium contains about 18 million kCal per gram. You just need to eat it once and never need to worry about eating again

Wife, daughter, mother. Wife is for marriage vows Daughter because you are raising her and she needs a parent. So mom comes last.

Undo blockchain. It’s a solution looking for a problem. And the problem it creates is energy waste.

Fat is worse than sugar.

Speed limits at various times/places

Boy–Scoutz N the Hood Season 5; Episode 8

Breathe air.

opossum’s can’t get rabies.

Ooo! Floor pie!

Kettle cooked in lard. Salted.

As a programmer. I’ve reviewed A LOT of others programmers code.

Is their religion different from yours. But more important, is your faith practicing wildly different. Either way: it can be a future issue. But addressable with good communication.

Born in the USA - Springsteen

Russia has entered the chat: Ukraine.

Comparing apples to oranges. Exploring is discovering by getting there. Which some places are harder to get too. But the bar is low for how to do it. The James Webb actually has new measuring tools. Measuring different spectrums of light as well as the sensitivity is 10x better. By creating a new measurement tool. A crap ton of new things can be experimentally measured and and vetted against the math. This can bring new predictions or validate existing ones. When Hubble came, it brought a crap ton of new measurements that catapulted astronomy coward in new discoveries real fast. Hopefully this time next year, we can start getting initial results and reap those rewards from James Webb.

Cold brew coffee. And that’s a hill I’m willing to die on.

Are you alive?

Eating an entire Costco cheesecake

Trump paraphernalia

The Proclaimers

Saber

Turkey hill. Being on every corner.

Any of the Disney buddy movies staring those dogs.

Can you do me a favor and have a conversation with the white evangelical industrial complex?

Texas with China works too.

I don’t understand this question.

Poison

0. But we do get a potential bonus in the first quarter after the financials for the prior year are complete.

100% not a robot.

Prettyflyforawifi

Pennsylvania is like that.

Irrational numbers.

Thank you.

Be funny and listen.

Kanye west gets fronted by the Republican Party as presidential candidate. https://www.businessinsider.com/kanye-west-presidential-campaign-gop-operatives-investigation-finds-2021-12

Soup

A bad 2020 sequel.

Better Off Ted. Only 2 seasons, but all gold.

Episode one: He actually marries Robin instead of dragging it out to the end.

Doing nothing about school shootings.

Brilliant

A winning lottery ticket.

Solar powered Sensor Outdoor light above my trash cans. Every trash day, I never have to stumble outside in the dark.

A male Oprah Winfrey with Gweneth Paltrow sensibility

I like my coffee like my sense of humor, black.

Bad mouthing someone via text or email and thinking you sent it to the person you are complaining about.

Practical nuclear fusion. Too bad it’s been 10 years away for the last 30 years.

Accounting. I was good at math. They said I’d be good at accounting. I hated it. It was the best class ever to take to make me realize that early.

(USA) Private (for profit) prisons

Birds are real

Meme stocks

Chitty chitty bang daddy

They’ve since added extra additives and sweeteners. Things that add flavor but don’t belong in the lungs. Things so bad that they are worse than cigarettes

There was a time e-cigarettes were originally marketed that way. (Compared to cigarettes)

Donald Duck. Easily angered.

I heard them say “Let’s go Brandon”

Charlie Brown Christmas soundtrack by Vince guaraldi

Be a programmer where you just put stuff in production and then bug fix …. In production

Epstein actually killed himself

The locally owned ice cream shop down the road. Locally owned and operated and regularly have fundraiser’s for the local school, sports groups, and other local clubs. And now closed for the winter to give the owners and employees a break until February

I thought that looked like weavers. Had to scroll pretty far for confirmation

The world trade centers were destroyed by airplanes.

Monk

The original reason use of the chainsaw was for childbirths.

Not one person. But the group of guys who founded the Apache software foundation. The software hosted here is the foundation for the much of what we see on the Internet

Someone should use a Blockbuster membership card

At the gym getting changed.

Stop stabbing me

Changing the diaper of someone born in 2000.

/r/drifties

Being purposely lied to

I’ve heard there is a mid rash about this that it was Abraham as the fourth in the furnace in Daniel 3.

Water

No, I think my current wife would not appreciate that.

The boat sank.

Florida man does {fill in here}

Grandparents giving me money for my birthday

Goths vs the Roman Empire.

Being burned at the stake

My cat when he tries to clean himself

Reddit gold

Most foods make me fart

Dearest Edna, I must leave you. Why, I cannot say. Where, you cannot know. How I will get there, I haven't decided yet. But one thing I can tell you, any time I hear the wind blow it will whisper the name Edna. And so let us part with a love that will echo through the ages. ---Woodrow

Pick them up and stare at their butt

I was going to say insulin. But this works too

My Pillow

Javascript Javascript Ecmascript

CEO

Quality cabinet painters.

Quicksand

The ice cream shop down the street. I like their hand dipped ice cream. It’s not overly expensive. And they are always doing fundraisers where a portion of sales goes to some community help, such as the boys scouts, various local sports clubs, or the parent teacher organization for the elementary school.

You can eat Whoopi pies, but not road apples.

Sharknado

USA political campaign money

Have a friend with lots of money

See how many times I can kick a stone continually while walking down the street

You are on your own health care plan.

And there it is

Your constipation has reached 100%

Lack of humility

Staying in a group of 3 or more

Never gonna give you up the answer

Agreed

It’s pointless.

Soylent green

Terminology for how processes are managed in operating systems.

Ending a child may turn it into a zombie until the parent discovers that it was terminated.

I try to make sure not to shart. Everything else is fair game.

One of my favorites

I don’t know the worst name in the world. But this is a tribute comment to the worst name in the world.

Smooth criminal by Michael Jackson

Facebook

Pick one or both - The person was having a bad day and snapped - They are a jerk

Meh

John Hancock signs last

Try again and succeed

Looks like turning driver could’ve seen fast car in rear view and thought to get in slow lane to let speedy cam driver stay in the left lane. But speedy cam driver was too speedy and impatient.

Simple. Then they should be driving slower.

Do a plank. It’ll feel like forever

/r/leopardsatemyface

And the tail wagging by the dog thinking this is the best day ever.

The Bible for normal people has a good talk on this. https://podcasts.apple.com/in/podcast/episode-164-pete-enns-where-did-our-bible-come-from/id1215420422?i=1000518605763

You mean □ □ □ □ □ □ □?

Safari is the new internet explorer. Change my mind.

Not just any medicine. The fda emergency authorized monoclonal antibodies.

My sad take: He’ll gladly sacrifice family to run for President. It may even give him a nice sob story to try to make him look human.

Polish or blond jokes.

One Huge bet on a single roulette spin.

Ryan Reynolds. And I’d bet it would be hilarious.

In the 1980’s as a kid I watched Bill Cosby Himself stand up on VHS. So sad what’s happened since.

Staying up later.

Ignorance.

/r/idiotsincars

Picture of your mom in a dress. That dress. And her perfume.

Attacked by a narwhal?

It could be the sedan saw the truck and was slowing to merge from behind. This was the original slow down. Then as the sedan liked in the rear view mirror thought crap, vehicle behind is going to rear end me. So let me try to veer left since I was going that way and there is plenty of room. Then after the 1st collision was done, the second doesn’t count since you are now in a state of shock and just want to stop.

Hello, I’m very old and wealthy.

How much could a banana cost? Ten dollars?

The USA civil war was due to states rights or “the war of northern aggression”

Sign a NDA? Massive red flag.

Spoiler: That's my position but I'm trying to keep an open mind to see what I'm missing.

David Spade because of his performance in Emperor’s New Groove

Facemasks (it’ll feel like you are being water boarded)

Every member of congress was in the Capitol because they were to certify the election. That was the point of the protest, I mean terrorist attack.

I too am allergic to dihydrogen monoxide

I need you to code these in triplicate.

Needs a Dallas cowboys, Philadelphia eagles, and New York Yankees flag as well as probably 2 euro soccer teams.

And there’s the insult we were missing

But only to people older than you.

And everyone within the nearest kilometer gets it too for the same timeframe

Saving up to the free money matching from your employers 401k. Even if they only match 25%, it’s still an instant 25% return that should grow multiple times over the rest of your career if left alone.

Only 393 cases out of the millions of people who got it. "The facts are clear: this is an extremely rare side effect, and only an exceedingly small number of people will experience it after vaccination," read the statement, whose signees included Dr. Mitchell Elkind, president of the American Heart Association. "Importantly, for the young people who do, most cases are mild, and individuals recover often on their own or with minimal treatment." Via https://www.heart.org/en/news/2021/06/21/should-rare-cases-of-heart-inflammation-put-your-covid-19-vaccine-plans-on-hold

How much does a banana cost, $10

We decided to take a spur of the moment vacation out of the country into Cancun because the power was going to be out for a few days.

The same reason some of us sort by new.

They are screwed thanks to the baby boomers. Sincerely, genx

The dollar.

Political donations are taxed at 300%. All proceeds go to social services.

Pass a law to say it’s not illegal

Become an alcoholic, whore-mongering, chain-smoking gambler who befriends a pizza delivery guy.

Then become Satoshi Nakamoto

True. But the gains made in these would fly under the radar. Too many sports gambling bets your way might draw some undesirable attention

Ice cream and breaded fish patty (instead of something delicious like a brownie) source: me when I was 10 for some dumb reason

Check out /maliciouscompliance

Yup. There are dozens of us, Dozens!

College. Lots of drinking, but not by me. How did people afford that?

Buy as much Bitcoin, apple, Amazon, and google as possible.

McDonald’s ice cream

It was a controversial opinion. (Not popular of course)

In a simplistic example. We poop calories. Floating poop typically means it’s pretty fatty. So those calories just passed right through. How the body gets fueled matters over time. Just like a vehicle can be given the wrong fuel and run. Over time, bad things will happen. The problem is fueling depends on age and genetics and other factors. So there is no specific diet solution.

I’m not into gaming. And I don’t care if others enjoy it. I can’t tell with negative points on the original comment if my controversial opinion has been wildly successful or a wild failure.